Real problems need real solutions that last. Have you ever swept
away a spiderweb only to have it reappear? You didn't kill the spider! It's the same with children/teens/students.
We must find the real problem causing the behaviors that concern us and eliminate it - kill the spider - if we want
behaviors to permanently change!
Have you thought you can improve children's test
scores and grades by drilling facts and practicing tests? That won't help youth who believe they're
incapable of learning. We know how to kill that spider.
Have you separated two girls so they'll stop talking
only to discover that one doesn't stop? Perhaps she is lonely with no one to talk to at home. She needs
conversation and friends. Her desperation and the associated behaviors may die when teachers check in
with her at the beginning of class and model and teach appropriate boundaries and friendship skills.
She needs belonging.
Have you tried to help teachers engage students by
improving their methods only to discover the new methods don't solve the problems you observed? Some
students know how to learn, but don't know why they should. Helping students identify their
purpose kills the apathy spider.
Dr. Kathy Koch has discovered real, lasting solutions for
common problems such as bullying, academic apathy, judgmentalism, mean-spirited competitiveness, impatience,
entitlement attitudes, and fear of failure. Specifically she understands that problems
are rooted in one or more of our five core needs of security, identity, belonging, purpose, and
competence and that the needs are interconnected for problem-solving power. She also understands how the
culture is changing the ways children and teens are trying to meet their needs. Imagine being able to assign
any problem to one or more of the core needs. Don't just imagine it - learn how! Identifying the spider and
not just sweeping away the web makes all the difference.
aren't applying themselves because they've often been told they'll never amount to anything. Believing that, they
decide that studying won't help. This is an identity and competence problem. Just teaching study strategies won't
solve the entire problem. They need new beliefs about themselves.
children and teens are struggling to find and keep friends. You determine that they've earned
identities of "gossip," "bossy," or "bully" because of their regular behavior. This looks like a
belonging problem, but it starts as an identity and security problem. Teaching friendship skills may
help, but these students also need to learn new character qualities to develop self-security and
students aren't engaged in class or applying themselves. They often ask why they have to do what
they're told. This is a purpose problem. You discover that they know their weaknesses, but not their
strengths. This is an identity problem. These students need help identifying strengths because they're
more likely to believe they have purpose when they know what they do well. This new belief can result
in better behavior and increased competence.
Because of the interactive nature of the Five Core Needs Model, it is powerful for problem
solving. Teens, children, and adults can learn to discern why they are feeling the way they are and behaving the
way they are and what they can do about it. (In other words, they'll find their own spiders and figure out how
to kill them!)
To help teachers and parents get at the reasons for behavior issues, Dr. Kathy and her staff
developed the Student Improvement Plan. This four page action oriented strategy to get at the root of the
behavior uses the Five Core Needs model to identify character issues to teach and train in order to change
Click here for a
Purchase your copy here. Package includes two
action plans and two summary charts and Dr. Kathy's training CD.
(For more information on the Five Core Needs Model go
Audiences: public school teachers, Christian school teachers, parents,
grandparents, volunteers who work with children/teens in any setting, social workers, counselors/therapists,
chldren/teens in school or church, families.
Format: half-day, full-day, 90-minute overview, 60-75
minutes when children are present with their parents, 30-60 minutes for school assembly or