Today’s blog is fun. Really – if you don’t smile while reading it, I’d question if you read it.
It’s written by Brandy Bell, the Designer and Founder of So. Bell and Co of Midland, Texas. We know each other, but not well. After reading her blogs, I want to get to know her better. I love her joy and perspective!
I needed to read it when I did and that’s why I’m posting it for you to read. Maybe you need it too. “Stay shiny my friend” I definitely agree with her last sentence: “Because seriously, the world needs your exact flavor to make it great.”
You can read Brandy’s “About Me” section from her blog below. And, check out her blog and her designer website here. This blog, which I’m publishing here with her permission, was published on her site on June 24th.
“OMG Youre Annoying.” And Why I Don’t Let It Bother Me
I knew when I decided to start putting myself out there on social media, whether it’s pictures from my design business, or blog posts about things that are swirling around in my brain (picture 1980’s lava lamp), that there would be people who would not have a positive reaction. I wouldn’t go as far as to say that I’m okay with it, it’s more like I was prepared for it.
The title of this post is an example of that. Not long ago I did a blog post about raising my boys. And no sooner had I hit the publish button, I received a private message that read: “OMG youre annoying”. My first thought was they forgot the apostrophe. (Which is super funny because my grammatical compass is as crooked as my uncle Benny.) But, I pretty much assumed her comment really had nothing to do with me and I brushed it off and moved on.
I get that looking past ugliness is often easier said than done. I have received my share of nasty-grams far worse than that of OMG lady. But whether someone comes at you with indifference, rudeness, or they’re saying something specifically to hurt your heart… somehow, someway, you have to learn to brush it off and move on as well. Yes, I know… not easy. However, think of it like a muscle you have to exercise. With time and practice you become stronger. Now I’m not encouraging you to become Bitter Betty either. I’m just saying other people’s words, and whether or not they “like” you, have absolutely NOTHING to do with your value as a person. Not. One. Bit. Not ever.
Here are a few thoughts that have helped me:
Not everybody digs every kind of candy.
I think black licorice is just about the most disgusting stuff that was ever produced. It’s like if Satan’s sewage had a flavor it would be black licorice. But the husband lurveeeeees it y’all.
My favorite all time candy is Fun Dips circa 1980’s (or Lik-M-Aids as they were once called). If you are not familiar, they are these little paper packages of crack powder that come with a crack stick to dip. My husband thinks they are absolutely nasty and somewhat immature. Haha. But whatever. We just clearly have different ideas of what tastes good.
See where I’m headed. I believe the same holds true for people. Not EVERYONE is going to like you. And there may not be a specific reason. You’re just not a flavor they like. And that’s totally OK. I just want you to realize that if for some reason someone isn’t suddenly wanting to give you a big warm and fuzzy hug, it may be simply because they prefer Tootsie Rolls (which are gross). And if they choose to miss out on what you have to offer, well then, their loss. But don’t let it hurt your feelings.
I have always loved this quote- “Some people won’t love you, no matter what you do. Some people won’t STOP loving you, no matter what you do. Go where the love is.” -Elanor Brown
Squirrel – Have you ever thought of what Candy you would be? Please feel free to share. I have a polarizing personality. I would probably be a Fireball, you know those super hot little jaw breaker candies. People either just love me or they want to spit me out after a few seconds. Hahaha. I just made myself laugh.
It seems like everybody loves my husband. He must be a Hershey Kiss.
OK next thought:
Hurt people … hurt people.
There is no way to have fun with this one. Nor would I want to. The sad fact is that most people have been hurt in their lifetime. And a natural human reaction is to hurt others when you are hurting. Their issues have nothing to do with you. Again, don’t take it personally. And remind yourself that hurt people … hurt people.
Squirrel – If you were raised with a southern mama like I was, no matter what anyone said or did to you, it was because “they were just jealous honey.” I know y’all know what I’m talking about. Now there may be a measure of truth to that but I basically feel like that person still falls in the latter category. But thanks mama.
* For my Faith Family, I have learned that it’s really hard to be upset with someone while you are praying for them. So even if you don’t want to, pray anyway. And when you start getting mad again, (and you will), start praying for ’em again.
People think blowing out someone else’s flame will make theirs grow brighter.
I will keep this short and sweet. If you are attracting haters, you are probably doing something right. So keep going. And in the immortal words or Tay Swift- “…don’t you worry your pretty little mind
People throw rocks at things that shine…”.
Stay shiny my friend.
To conclude…I am certainly not a psychologist (although I WAS a bartender, so sorta), and you have no reason to listen to me. But we’re all going to hear negative things. We will be blown off and made fun of, we will be ignored and attacked. This could come from total strangers, or friends and family. Just don’t let their opinions change your perspective of who YOU are. And don’t let their words hold you back from anything you dare to accomplish. Because seriously, the world needs your exact flavor to make it great.
*Disclaimer: Now without becoming overly psychoanalytical, there are probably a thousand micro categories that could be discussed. I’m just covering what I feel are a few basics that apply to this setting. So for my friends with PhD’s please take deep breaths. We are just conversating here. I’m not passing out any meds.
I love the way Brandy introduces herself on her blog:
A little bit about me: My name is Brandy Bell, I used to be a mermaid. Ok that’s not true but I AM from the ocean. Virginia Beach, VA / Cape Hatteras, NC originally . I grew up barefoot and sandy. When my children were young we lived in other beach communities including Hawaii and Connecticut, so the coast is very much a part of my heart. Then 16 years ago we landed in West Texas. And while we have plenty of sand, the ocean is far far away. However our fabulous people and natural desert beauty make up for the missing shore line. (Also my career entails lots of travel so I am never go too long without a little salt water fix.)
I come from a long proud line of builders and designers. My dad, grandfather, great grandfather… were all in the building industry in VA. I have been blessed with my own interior design/ decorating business for a little over 2 decades, specializing in renovations and new construction all over Texas. I appreciate all design styles and have always loved the opportunity to challenge myself. My personal style would probably be a mixture of coastal colonial, vintage cottage, farmhouse, with maybe a dash of French influence. Kinda like Rocky Road ice cream. I love all things antique, reclaimed, and historical. Anytime that I can help a client repurpose something that is a part of their history or is special to them, I do so. It makes my heart super happy. I did a fair share of moon lighting as an artist and muralist when my boys were younger to pay for extras as a single mom. I still love art and I also love to write. So my Blog “Ramblings of a Rebel” has proven to be a great creative outlet.
I am married to the kindest, most patient man ever. He also has some wood working skills which is a total bonus. But best of ALL he does not question me when I am driving a crazy train. He just jumps right on. We work well that way. When I told him I wanted to buy a mini farm with horse stables and barns so I could expand my business, he gave me full support even though we are not farmers and we own not a horse. He truly is a saint folks. Most days I call him Kyle or, Luv. But some days he’s Carl. That’s how voice texting spells it because of my dialect. So I have adopted it for the times when I am feeling sassy or aggravated at him. But most days I think he hung the moon.
Together we have 5 boys. Well men. Actually some days they act more like boys. We have a beautiful daughter in law that puts up with us all as well. We have two rescue dogs, Ginger and Gator who I love SO STINKIN’ MUCH!!!! We also have a bird we inherited when my sweet mama went to be with Jesus. His name was Sammy but now his name is Juan Samuel because, well I’m not sure why. I will be getting chickens soon, I am already thinking of fabulous names.
So that about covers it. If you made it this far… You win!!! You’re my new best friend. And I hope that in some small way I can encourage you, believe in you, and help remind you that you are a big beautiful life of amazingness!