Character Builds Trustworthiness
In last Wednesday’s blog Security in Family, I wrote this:
What does security depend upon? What causes it? Consistency, dependability, honesty, being valued, truth, apologies, forgiveness, unconditional love, and so much more. Notice – it’s a person‘s character that builds trustworthiness.
Do you know what else security depends upon? Planning, observing, affirming, teaching, and training. Not telling.
Do your children seem hesitant? Do they complain? Are they not growing? What about adults you work with? It could be some current character issues on your part. That happens to us all. Or maybe it’s a lack of planning, observing, affirming, teaching, and training. Or it could be their perception that this is the case.
As you might know, I work out with a trainer at One on One Fitness in Fort Worth. I hired Linda in 2007 before my knee replacement surgery. I was planning on just working out to gain some strength before the surgery. After the successful surgery and physical therapy, I went back, but just to gain strength. Eleven years later, I’m still in the gym. Sometimes I’m amazed! Eleven years!
Why am I still there? Why do I pay Linda to train me? Why do I trust her?
- Because she plans every workout and refers to her notebook throughout my session.
- Because she observes me like a hawk – not to catch me doing something wrong, but to make sure I’m doing it right. (There’s a difference!)
- Because she affirms me, thanks me, and loves to call me “Power Woman” when I accomplish something challenging.
- Because she teaches me – demonstrating and explaining with words I can understand.
- Because she trains me – she looks for consistency and we do things often enough that I do become confident in her, myself, and the equipment. She is, after all, my physical TRAINER. She is not my teller.
The other day, I was on the elliptical. I realized Linda was looking at my feet. She wanted to make sure I positioned them correctly. That encouraged me. She knows about my bad foot and that I need to be careful with my back so she wanted to make sure all was well.
Before I lift weights, she almost always demonstrates first what she wants me to do. She does this even if I’ve done that particular biceps, triceps, shoulder, or back exercise many times. Of course, what’s not fair is that she demonstrates without holding the weights!
If Linda adds repetitions or increases the weight, she makes sure I know. She then congratulates me, says I’m doing well, and she may add that she’s proud of me. This helps me keep going and it reminds me that I can trust her to appropriately challenge me.
If Linda directs me to do something new that I’ve not done before, her instruction is more complete. She’ll include how to grab the weight or the piece of equipment. She’ll include how to stand or sit. She’ll include how low to pull and how high to lift. She’ll tell me, show me, and guide me. She always tells me what the exercise is for so I know which muscle group I should feel being affected.
Linda’s planning, observing, affirming, teaching, and training allows me risk and growth. I know I can trust her.
Would children and adults you work with say this about you?