In my new book, Start with the Heart: How to Motivate Your Kids to be Compassionate, Responsible, and Brave (Even When You’re Not Around), I begin with things parents must understand and act upon in order to secure their children’s hearts. This matters because, as I wrote last Wednesday, parents’ and kids’ hearts must be intertwined for parents to be able to positively influence their children.
If your hearts are intertwined, it’s more likely that you’ll know your children. This is because they’ll trust you and, therefore, let you get to know them. Yes, you read that right – they’ll let you get to know them. Many children tell me they guard their hearts and protect themselves even from their parents. They might be afraid of disappointing you. They might not want to be interrogated about something you discover.
When children know your heart is for them, you will be able to know their feelings and thoughts. You’ll also be able to know their strengths and challenges so you can fully relate to their whole selves.
Does this matter? Oh, yes! When we know all of them, it’s easier to love them even on their bad days. Why? Because our love and knowledge allows us to separate them from their day.
We will believe they can have bad days, but not be bad. Yes. It’s true! Here it is again …. children can have bad days and not be bad. The same thing is true for us.
Having a bad day and being bad are not the same thing.
What do you think? Do you believe this is true? Does your behavior back up how you just answered that question in your mind? What’s next?
I unpack this concept in my new book that is published on Tuesday. I hope you’ll check out Start with the Heart.