“How are you doing?”
“What have you been up to lately?”
Have you listened to children answer questions like this when you know the askers did really care and hope for more information? Would you like this to not occur on Easter as you and your children spend time with relatives you maybe don’t see very often? If so, let me make three suggestions.
First, children sometimes tell me they don’t feel connected in meaningful ways to the relatives you know well and love. It makes conversations harder. Take some time this week to share stories about your relationship with your relatives so your children feel a bit more connected. Let them know what their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins are interested in so questions and answers might result in conversations that go deep.
Second, you can also prepare your children to answer questions they might be asked. Remind them of something that’s new that they could share with someone who asks. Talk about good answers when someone asks how they are doing. Let’s admit this question can even be awkward for us at times. Should they share that they’re tired and stressed or lie that “everything is fine”? What could your children say when asked how they are doing? What might be a good question for them to ask in return?
Third, what if you think about beneficial and fun questions to ask people you’ll be spending time with? The “right” questions honor people and generate conversations that result in connections that last. To help, we post a question on our Celebrate Kids Facebook page every weekday at 2:00 pm. If you haven’t already, you may want to “like” the page and scroll down to see some of the recent questions. You might be able to use some during this upcoming week.
Also, did you know we designed a free app that posts a question every day worth asking children? They’re different from the ones on Facebook. You can find it here. The timing might be perfect for you.
For example, yesterday’s questions were, “What would make you super proud if you accomplished it this year? May I tell you about one of my proudest accomplishments?” Today’s question is, “Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?” Depending on who does the asking and who answers, this could generate an interesting conversation!
Conversations can be life-giving. Let’s help our kids now.