Every Monday, I’ll post about discovering genuine hope and authentic answers for living a healthy life.
Children and adults have five core needs that must be met in healthy ways (security, identity, belonging, purpose, and competence). Leaving them unmet or meeting them in unhealthy ways is unwise. All of our choices, attitudes, and actions will be influenced.
I believe we’re best off when we allow God His proper place as the One Who can best meet our needs. Other than the Triune God, it’s not wise to rely on any one person to meet our needs. And, it’s definitely unwise to rely on a thing.
As I mentioned in Friday’s post, Nancy is moving to the state of Washington. She’s one of my best friends and our Project Manager. So many of us from church and the ministry are going to miss her terribly.
God has used Nancy strategically in my life. But, I’d be in big trouble if she was the only one I was getting my needs met through. It’s definitely healthy for us to have solid friendships, but we put people under too much pressure if we expect them to be more than they were designed to be.
Notice the “s” on “friendships.” Can you imagine how I’d be feeling if Nancy was my only friend? The only person I spend free-time with? The only person I talk with at church? The only one I golf with? I’d be a basket case. I’m not. I’m grieving, but healthy.
What about you? Do you have a number of people to love and who love you? Who help you meet your legitimate needs for security, identity, and belonging? They may also help you understand your purpose and develop competencies.
Are you involved in any friendships that have become unhealthy because you’re expecting too much from each other? Have you become codependent?
Who have you shut out of your life lately who you could approach again? It might not be too late to establish a relationship that could become a healthy friendship.
Who have you noticed at church, work, in your neighborhood, or at an activity who you’re curious about? Why not approach him or her and see if a friendship could result?
Having a great friend is a beautiful thing. Having more than one is even better.