I’m grateful you read my blog. Thanks for being interested and teachable. Everything we do at Celebrate Kids, Inc., we do for you.

I often come back to the topic of our five core needs. Why? Because they’re core, of course. They’re important and significant. They matter greatly for several reasons I’ll explain below. If you haven’t read the first three posts in this series about them, you can find them here.


Security and Identity


Purpose: Why Am I Alive?

We have a need for purpose – to know why we are alive. It’s rooted in our security, identity, and belonging. When these are healthy, solid, positive, and growing, it’s more likely our purpose will be, too. Then, when we know why we’re alive, we’re more able to develop our competence. This is our fifth core need.

At this time of year, it’s easy to be distracted from our purpose. Based on my last few days, it might appear that my purpose is to buy gifts, wrap them uniquely, and get them sent to my out-of-town niece and nephew on time. Or, maybe my purpose is to help my sister-in-law decorate. Or, I still have two cookies I’d like to make. Is my purpose to bake and impress family?

Maybe your kids think their purpose is to clean their room before grandma and grandpa come. Maybe they think it’s to stay out of trouble and make you look good, especially when waiting for you to finish talking to everyone (!) at church. Or, maybe they think their purpose is to perform perfectly in the choir concert or piano recital.

What’s the Answer?

All my answers to the question “Why am I alive?” are things we do. Perhaps these things also do fill our need for purpose. It depends on our motives.

God created us to leave the world a better place. We’re alive to make a positive difference. We exist to love well and to glorify God.

Do I shop, wrap, and send gifts to impress people? Do I do it to try to earn love? Do I decorate with my sister-in-law because I think she can’t do it without me? Or, do I do these things because I want to love well, encourage them, and impact their world in a positive way? Do I want God to be glorified by what I do and how I do it?

What about your kids? Are they cleaning their rooms well because they’re afraid to disappoint you? Is their security in trying to be perfect? Are they choosing obedience because they know it’s good for God or because they can’t afford to make you mad? Is it their security? Is their identity “performer”?

God wants us to meet our need for security, identity, and belonging in Him. The same thing is true for purpose. God created us to glorify Him and positively influence the world. This month, let’s remember to celebrate and thank God for allowing us the privilege of being a part of the action. Let’s make sure we’re doing what we’re doing with the right motives and let’s talk to kids about this.


I’ve taught about these core needs for over 30 years and they are the topic of my first book, Finding Authentic Hope and Wholeness: Five Questions that Will Change Your Life. You can purchase it here. We also have support products you might want to check out.