Security Comes From Trust
Security is on my mind a lot. That doesn’t surprise you if you follow me. For over 30 years, I’ve been teaching that security is a core, legitimate need all people have. It must be met.
Children who can meet at least part of their need for security in their parents are better off than those who can’t. Our culture is chaotic and people are messy. Children need to be able to depend on their parents.
Building trust and being trustworthy doesn’t have to be hard. Would you agree with me that maybe security is based on many little things that accumulate into something quite large?
How are you doing based on my suggestions here? If we asked your children, what might they say? What would you add to my list?
- Listen longer.
- Listen to understand rather than to take your turn to talk.
- Ask questions because you truly are interested in their answers.
- Share your interests with your kids.
- Play.
- Laugh.
- Learn.
- Explore.
- Read books.
- Listen to them read.
- Experience new things together.
- Experience new people.
- Celebrate accomplishments.
- Don’t expect perfection.
- Pay attention to daily work and to test scores.
- Ask how you can help and be willing to help.
- Say Thank You.
- Train them in the way they should go.
- Be consistent.
- Be authentic.
- Be available.
- Be reliable.
- Be responsible.
- Be honest.
- Be vulnerable.
- Allow them to dream.
- Help them dream.
- Learn something new together.
- Don’t allow others to interrupt you when you say your kids are your priority.
- Put your phone down.
- Make eye contact.
- Smile.
- Hug.
- Cry.
- Color with them.
- Game with them.
- Do a jigsaw puzzle together.
- Don’t watch them play – play.
- Put your camera away.
- Serve together.
- Talk about how you could work together to solve some of the problems in your community.
- Introduce your children to mentors and prioritize their time together.
- Don’t let little problems become big problems.
- Correct, don’t criticize.
- Be kind.
- Be careful.
- Help them guard their heart.
- Apologize.
- Ask to be forgiven.
- Reteach without shame or blame.
- Be their cheerleader and change the cheer when you need to.
- Be full of grace and mercy and truth.
- Be a role model of what you expect them to be and do.
- Be optimistic.
- Keep positive.
- Be helpful.
- Balance being idealistic and realistic.
- Be enthusiastic.
- Be encouraging.
- Be joyful.
- Be alert.
- Be on their side.
