What Do You Need?
Something beautiful happened recently. I want to remember what I saw and learned.
I was at dinner with two good friends. One vulnerably shared how challenging the past few months have been. My other friend and I listened carefully.
Before I could speak to express my concern and support, the other friend leaned in and calmly asked, What do you need?
Our friend appeared caught off guard. Rather than suggesting solutions and offering advice, which is more typical, our friend had just asked her for her own solution.
This was honoring. Even if our friend was overwhelmed and might have been unable to quickly come up with sensible answers to the question, it was still a brilliant question. But as we waited for her to think deeply, she was able to identify what she needs.
We were honored by her continued vulnerability. Her facial expressions changed as she recognized she was seen, heard, and, therefore, relieved. She was also empowered since she could identify her needs.
We affirmed her and followed through with some comments and appropriate questions. We committed to pray.
I want to honor people better and ask What do you need? rather than assuming I know what they need. Is this relevant for you and your relationships?