So, Your Teen's Not Into Legos Anymore?
You blinked and suddenly your child—who once lined up dinosaurs by color—is now obsessed with editing YouTube videos, vintage sneakers, or debating global politics. Maybe they’ve swapped their trumpet for a sketchpad. Or the kid who once lived for bedtime snuggles now grunts from behind their phone. Breathe. Believe it or not—this is good.
Dr. Kathy Koch recently shared some wisdom on the Celebrate Kids podcast that every parent needs to hear: Your child is changing because they’re growing. What feels like rejection may actually be one of the best signs that you’ve raised a child who’s becoming their own person.
It’s Not About You. It’s About Growth.
Let’s start with a freeing truth: when your teen suddenly doesn’t want to do the things you used to love doing together, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Their brains are literally rewiring. Interests shift. Identity deepens. And part of that process includes distancing a little from you—not because they love you less, but because they’re practicing independence (which you’ve been preparing them for since diapers).
You might want a schedule of how long this “phase” will last. Sorry—there isn’t one. But watching for patterns and asking good questions helps.
Feel all the feelings! But don’t drown in them. It’s okay to grieve what was and be curious about what’s next.
Ask, Don’t Assume.
What makes teens feel respected? When we ask instead of assume. “Hey, I noticed you haven’t played your guitar in a while—are you still into music?” is miles better than “Why don’t you practice anymore? You’re wasting our money.” Ouch.
Start conversations like you’re a guest in their world, not a cop. You’ll learn way more by asking, “What’s been inspiring you lately?” than pushing them to keep loving what they’ve outgrown.
You’re probably ready to analyze the why behind their new obsession. That’s fine—but stay present before going philosophical.
Be their adventure guide. If your teen wants to explore photography, help them find a thrift store camera or let them take your phone on a “photo safari.”
Redefine “Family Time.”
Gone are the days when a board game night or cookie baking was enough. Now, your teen might want to scroll beside you in silence, or invite a friend over while you make dinner in the background.
Here’s the thing: presence still matters. It just looks different. Your teen might not say it, but they still value being near you—even if it’s just existing in the same room.
Got a music-smart teen? Ask them to share their playlist and tell you why they love each song.
Word-smart? Suggest journaling together or start a shared quote wall in your kitchen.
People-smart? Encourage them to lead a family game night—but let them plan it their way.
Notice What They Don’t Say Out Loud.
Sometimes the best way to know your teen is to watch them. What are they Googling? Drawing? Playing over and over again on Spotify? What kind of TikToks do they send you?
These actions are windows into who they’re becoming. They might not say “I’m curious about psychology,” but if they’re binging true crime podcasts, that’s a clue.
Follow the trail. Not in a creepy way—just enough to stay close and invite conversations.
Cheer Them On, Even When You Don’t “Get It.”
You don’t have to love anime, robotics, or thrift flipping to say, “I love how passionate you are about that.” Your teen doesn’t need a sidekick. They need a fan in the stands, cheering whether it’s the championship game or a Minecraft marathon.
Celebrate their curiosity. Even if their current obsession only lasts three months, your support tells them, “I see you.”
Let’s Wrap This Up: What’s the Big Idea?
Your teen’s shifting interests aren’t a threat—they’re an invitation. An invitation to know them again. Differently. More deeply. And with a whole lot more grace than guilt.
This season of change is a reminder that parenting isn’t about keeping them the same. It’s about walking with them as they change—and showing up with love every step of the way.
Try This This Week
1. Ask a “non-awkward” question.
“What’s something you’ve been thinking about lately?”
“Seen anything cool on your feed this week?”
“If we had a random Saturday off—what would you want to do?”
2. Observe before you suggest.
Watch their habits. Then offer ideas based on what they’re already exploring.
3. Match their smart: Engage using Dr. Kathy Koch’s 8 Great Smarts
Word Smart: Let them write the grocery list or your family’s group chat emoji of the day
Logic Smart: Ask them to research and compare phone plans or travel routes
Picture Smart: Give them a sketch challenge: “Draw how your day felt.”
Music Smart: Let them DJ the ride to school
Body Smart: Invite them to fix something with you
Nature Smart: Take a walk and notice three wild things together
People Smart: Encourage them to lead a group hangout
Self Smart: Journal alongside them and share your entry
You’ve got this. And even when your teen feels like a mystery, the best parents are the ones who stay curious.