What If Success Doesn’t Look Like You Thought It Would? (And Why That’s Totally Okay)
The old checklist for success is looking a little dusty.
You know the one—go to college, get a stable job, buy a house, settle down, climb the ladder. Rinse and repeat.
But your kids? They’re growing up in a different world. One where careers zigzag, passions lead the way, and success can mean anything from launching a business out of a bedroom to traveling the world with a camera.
And here’s the great news: you don’t have to panic.
In fact, this is the perfect moment to lean in. To be the kind of parent who cheers on curiosity, champions grit, and helps your kids build a life that fits them—not just the mold.
That’s exactly what Dr. Kathy Koch and the Celebrate Kids team talk about in one of their most thought-provoking podcasts. And it’s the kind of message that takes the pressure off you and your child. Because redefining success? That’s not failure. That’s freedom.
Real Success Doesn’t Come with a Script
Let’s talk about that family from the podcast. Their kids are thriving—but not in the “top of their class, full-ride scholarship” way. More like…
A daughter documenting real-life events with her camera halfway across the world.
A son leading a fast-food team with compassion and purpose.
A high schooler starting his own business while managing school and sports.
No one handed them a script. What they had was a home where it was okay to try, fail, dream, and shift gears. That kind of support doesn’t require perfection—it requires parents who show up.
Want to Raise a Confident Explorer? Build the Right Environment
You don’t need a master plan. You need a mindset:
Be the parent who says, “Let’s find out.”
Be the coach, not the critic.
Be the soft place to land, but also the nudge to get back up.
Some kids need structure and a solid plan. Others need freedom to wander and experiment. The magic? Knowing your child well enough to know which one they are—and then parenting that kid, not your neighbor’s or your 18-year-old self.
Ask Better Questions (and Really Listen)
Instead of:
“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
Try:
“What do you love learning about lately?”
“Who do you admire and why?”
“If you could fix one problem in the world, what would it be?”
These questions unlock thinking, not just task lists. And they teach your kids that success isn’t a finish line. It’s a journey that’s supposed to shift as they grow.
Three Moves You Can Make Right Now
1. Slow down the rush.
Not everyone is ready for college—or needs to go at 18. And that’s okay. Time doesn’t define value.
2. Celebrate the progress, not just the paychecks.
Did your teen step out of their comfort zone? Own a mistake? Try something new? That’s success worth cheering.
3. Change the scoreboard.
When character, effort, creativity, and courage start “counting,” kids start winning in bigger ways.
How to Support Your Kids Based on Their Smarts
Dr. Kathy Koch’s 8 Great Smarts framework helps you connect with how your child is wired. Here's how to make success conversations click:
Word Smart: Let them talk it out. Have them write down dreams, questions, or even a future podcast script.
Logic Smart: Grab a spreadsheet. Compare options. Break down ROI of college vs. working. They’ll love the numbers game.
Picture Smart: Vision board time. Give them a stack of magazines, markers, or Canva and see what they create.
Music Smart: Build a playlist that captures what success feels like. Talk about the lyrics.
Body Smart: Internships, job shadowing, volunteer work—get them moving and learning on the go.
Nature Smart: Head outdoors. Use seasons, patterns, and nature metaphors to talk about life’s rhythms.
People Smart: Connect them with mentors. Let them interview adults with different careers and life stories.
Self Smart: Give them a quiet space to reflect. Journals. Podcasts. Long walks. They’ll find clarity on their own terms.
Success isn’t a race, and it definitely isn’t one-size-fits-all. You don’t need to panic if your child’s future looks different than you expected.
You just need to keep the conversation going. Keep believing in who your child is becoming. And remember: the world doesn’t need more perfect resumes—it needs more people who know who they are and how to live it out.