Getting Kids To See Success

Imagine your teenager, standing at a crossroads, choices ahead that could shape their future. You’re there, ready to guide them—but what’s the best advice to give? Here’s a startling fact: kids who finish high school, land a full-time job, and get married before having kids almost never fall into poverty. It’s called the “success sequence,” and it’s a game-changer.

Let’s get practical. High school graduation rates are dropping. Marriage rates? They’ve nosedived over the last 50 years. The truth is, these stepping stones to stability aren’t as popular as they used to be. But as a mom, you have the power to show your kids why they matter. Start with the basics—talk to your kids about finishing school and finding work they’re proud of. Frame marriage as a partnership, a team effort that builds a strong foundation for life.

Now let’s make this personal. Take your kids on a mini field trip to a local shelter or food bank. Let them see how hard life can be without stability. Those stories? They stick. They did for me and they could help your child connect the dots between the choices they make now and the future they want. It’s not about scaring them—it’s about opening their eyes.

While we’re here, think about the messages they’re getting from culture. Everywhere they look, success is tied to likes, followers, or how fast they can “live their truth.” But what if you flipped the script? What if you celebrated things like grit, commitment, and the courage it takes to pursue a dream—even when it’s not flashy?

A simple way to do that is to call it out. Let’s set the goal. What’s the thing we want them to have at the end of life? For me, it’s a faith that saw them through losing a job, getting in a car crash, and navigating a tough relationship. So, what are the simple faith muscles my kids build today to get them to have those kinds of faith muscles? It’s often a quick prayer in our car, opening the Bible and talking about it before bed, and weekly church attendance. When we do these things we celebrate. We have ice cream, I shout “that was awesome” when we get in the car, and I give them a high-five and tell them I’m proud of how they exercised their faith today.

At the end of the day, here’s the heart of it: your relationship with your kids matters more than any lecture. Talk about what’s real—your own struggles, what you’ve learned about work and marriage, and why it’s worth it. Bring them into the conversation, not as spectators, but as partners in figuring out what success really means.

The “success sequence” isn’t just a statistic—it’s an invitation. It’s about giving your kids a map that works, showing them that stability isn’t boring, it’s empowering. So, go ahead. Start the conversations. Take the field trips. Eat the ice cream. And show your kids that they have what it takes to build a life they’ll be proud of—one step, one choice at a time.