Rethinking Our Approach to Technology: A Conversation for Today’s Parents

Let’s be real for a moment. Most of us can’t imagine a day without our phones, tablets, or laptops. Our children? They’ve never known a world without them! It’s a bit surreal, isn’t it? Some of us thrive on organization and want clear guidelines for tech use. Others prefer to wing it, experimenting with new apps and platforms just to see what sticks. And some of us love diving into a deep conversation about the latest digital trends, pondering all the “whys” behind our kids’ online behaviors. Regardless of our approach, technology is here to stay, and so is our responsibility to guide our children in using it well.

What I love about technology is its capacity to connect. You can see your cousin’s newborn in real time, watch your best friend’s wedding from across the globe, and text that old high school buddy in seconds. It’s human connection—magnified!

But there’s a flip side. Technology can feel overwhelming. For our kids, who might already be struggling with peer pressure and identity questions, the added swirl of notifications and constant comparison can take a toll. The more time they spend scrolling, the less time they have for face-to-face friendships, family dinners, or simply daydreaming. So it’s perfectly understandable that you might want to chuck those devices out the window from time to time (though please don’t actually do that…consider this the disclaimer).

When our kids come home from school and immediately jump online, it’s easy to assume they’re being “lazy” or “addicted.” But consider this: the digital world is often where they connect with friends, get homework help, or escape academic and social pressures. They might pop into a gaming chat because it’s the one place they feel they belong. Some kids want the detailed plan—knowing exactly how much time they can be online. Others want the freedom to figure it out on their own, testing new apps just for fun.

Rather than labeling our kids as “screen zombies,” it helps to ask genuine questions: “What’s your favorite part of that game?” or “How does chatting with your friends online make you feel?” You may discover that for them, the digital realm is a mix of creativity, connection, and sometimes anxiety. By understanding these motivations, we can better guide them toward healthy balance.

It’s tempting to wage war on technology, especially if we feel it’s taken over our family’s downtime. But an “us vs. them” mindset (parents vs. devices) rarely leads to positive change. Instead, think of your child’s device as a tool—one that can do amazing things when wielded wisely. Just like we teach them the rules of the road before handing over car keys, we can coach them in navigating the online world responsibly.

Small steps often lead to the biggest changes. If you’re looking for a fresh start, try a gentle tapering off of screen time rather than a total shutdown. Let kids help set goals (like being more patient or gracious online). They’ll feel involved and are more likely to stick to guidelines they helped create.

We sometimes forget that our kids aren’t just learning facts and formulas; they’re also forming character and life skills. Technology can be a fantastic avenue for discovering and exploring interests—like coding, art, or connecting with friends who share similar passions. Encourage your child to use their online time well: Maybe they design graphics for the youth group newsletter or volunteer for a school event using social media outreach.

By aligning technology use with your family’s values—whether that’s creativity, responsibility, compassion, or teamwork—you help your kids see how their digital life can serve a bigger purpose. They’re not slaves to their screens; they’re creators, problem solvers, and helpers who just happen to use technology in the process.

Practical Steps for Positive Change

1. Set Shared Goals
   Sit down as a family and decide on a few goals, like reducing complaining or practicing kindness online. By making it a shared adventure, no one feels singled out.

2. Build a Simple Routine
   Choose one chunk of the day—maybe mealtime or an hour before bed—when all devices take a break. This creates a rhythm that benefits everyone without feeling rigid.

3. Offer Meaningful Alternatives
   Stock up on puzzles, board games, craft supplies, or sports equipment. Providing fun, offline options makes it easier for kids to step away from their screens without feeling deprived.

4. Check In with Curiosity
   Ask open-ended questions about what your kids are doing or seeing online. Show genuine interest instead of judgment, and watch how much more willingly they’ll share.

5. Reflect and Adjust
   Change isn’t instant. Gather regularly as a family to talk about what’s working and what’s not. Set a day on your calendar, like the first Sunday of every month, to celebrate the small wins, and tweak the plan together if something isn’t clicking.

Remember: Technology isn’t the enemy; it’s a tool. We’re here to help our kids learn how to use it responsibly and in a way that aligns with our family’s values. By taking a step-by-step approach, listening without judgment, and guiding with empathy, we empower our kids to navigate the digital world confidently—and grow in character along the way. You’ve got this!