Growing Together During the Holidays

Let’s be honest—watching kids grow into adults is a wild ride. One minute they’re asking for permission to stay up late, and the next, they’re asking to borrow the car for a weekend road trip. As parents, teachers, and mentors, this stage can feel like a mix of pride, fear, and “How did we get here so fast?” But this transition, as messy and unpredictable as it is, is one of the most rewarding seasons of their—and your—life.

Picture this: your college kid comes home for the holidays. You’re thrilled, but it’s different this time. They’ve tasted independence, and suddenly your once-familiar family dynamic feels new. You ask about their plans, and they hesitate, gauging how much they should share. They sleep until noon and forget to say “thanks” for dinner. But here’s the thing—this is all part of the transition. They’re learning to balance who they’ve been with who they’re becoming, and you’re part of the process.

The key? Learning to meet them where they are, not where you think they should be.

For those who love a plan (you know who you are), start with clear communication. Before they come home, talk about what the holidays will look like. Let them know it’s okay to need space, but also remind them of the traditions that matter. Be clear without being controlling. Something as simple as, “We’d love to have you help decorate the tree—what time works for you?” can make them feel valued and respected.

Now, if you’re more about relationships than schedules, dive into those heart-to-heart moments. Skip the interrogation (“How are classes?”) and instead ask, “What’s been the most surprising part of this year for you?” You’ll be amazed at how a little curiosity opens the door for deeper conversations.

For the big-picture thinkers, consider this: their brains are still growing. They’re testing independence, but they don’t have it all figured out (spoiler alert: neither do we!). This stage, often called “emerging adulthood,” is about finding balance—freedom with responsibility, dreams with reality. When they push boundaries, it’s not rebellion; it’s growth.

And for the go-with-the-flow types, embrace the unpredictability. They might stay out later than you expect or try out ideas that don’t quite align with your own. Instead of reacting with frustration, see these moments as opportunities to connect. A simple, “Tell me more about what’s been inspiring you lately,” can turn potential tension into meaningful dialogue.

Remember, the holidays are a chance to honor their growth while showing grace. Yes, they might crash on the couch all afternoon or scroll their phone through dinner prep. That’s okay. Create low-pressure moments for connection—play a favorite family game, watch their go-to holiday movie, or bake cookies together. These small moments remind them that home is a safe space, no matter how far they’ve gone.

But here’s where the magic happens: mentorship. Your role isn’t just to teach; it’s to walk alongside them. Share your own experiences—your wins, your mistakes, your lessons learned. Let them see that adulthood isn’t about perfection; it’s about perseverance. Be their cheerleader, their sounding board, and their example.

This season isn’t just about their growth; it’s about our growth—together. When we approach this transition with open hearts, curiosity, and a good dose of humor, we build a relationship that’s strong enough to navigate this new phase. So let’s lean in, love big, and celebrate who they’re becoming while never forgetting the joy of simply being together.

Because at the end of the day, this isn’t just a season of growing up—it’s a season of growing closer. And that’s worth every moment.