When Culture Teaches Identity: How Parents Can Reclaim Formation Through Faith
It’s hard to open a screen or walk into a classroom today without encountering gender ideology. From library story hours to TikTok feeds to curriculum materials, kids are being taught that gender is fluid, self-chosen, and constantly changing. For parents trying to raise confident, faith-anchored kids, it can feel like the ground keeps shifting under their feet.
Dr. Kathy Koch and Wayne Stender unpacked this growing influence in a recent Raising Gender-Confident Kids podcast. They described three “accelerators” shaping how children think about gender: schools, media, and medicine. Each one, in its own way, teaches a worldview — a way of seeing reality.
“Teachers don’t just deliver math and reading,” Dr. Kathy explains. “They deliver a worldview. And kids are discipled in it—whether that worldview is biblical or not.”
Schools Form More Than Minds
When schools introduce lessons like the “gender unicorn” or “gender-bread person,” they aren’t simply teaching diversity—they’re shaping a child’s understanding of what is true. Those images tell kids that gender can be picked, changed, or designed at will.
Some parents don’t realize this shift begins early. Even kindergarten books now feature themes of “finding your true self” apart from biological reality. This teaching subtly invites kids to define themselves by feelings instead of God’s design.
But there’s good news: parents can still be powerful partners in education. Visiting classrooms, asking about curriculum, and talking with teachers are small steps that build confidence and trust. They send a clear message—we’re engaged, we care, and we’re paying attention.
Media Shapes the Moral Imagination
What we watch forms us. Today’s entertainment doesn’t just tell stories; it disciples children’s imaginations. Shows once safe for families are now introducing anti-biblical themes. TikTok trends normalize confusion, with billions of views on hashtags about gender change.
Dr. Kathy cautions that formation through entertainment is real:
“A show that was good a year ago might no longer be appropriate for your children. Pay attention.”
As parents, we can guide kids to pause, question, and talk about what they see. Instead of fearfully banning every show, use these moments to teach discernment:
“What message is this sending about who we are?”
“Does that match what God says about how He created us?”
When we help kids slow down and think critically, we awaken something powerful—the Christian imagination.
Reclaiming the Christian Imagination
Wayne shares that imagination isn’t the enemy—it’s God’s gift. “We don’t have to fight against kids’ wonderings,” he says. “We can inspire them to imagine themselves inside God’s grand story.”
Ask your kids:
“What do you think Peter felt after denying Jesus?”
“How do you imagine the boy with five loaves and two fish felt watching a miracle unfold?”
When children step into these moments, they discover courage, purpose, and belonging inside Scripture. They begin to see that faith isn’t restrictive—it’s freeing.
“The Bible is not a boring book,” Dr. Kathy laughs. “It’s full of things to think about and feel. It’s the perfect place to develop our children’s imagination.”
Medicine and the Quick-Fix Culture
The third accelerator is medicine. Once, gender dysphoria was treated as a psychological struggle to be explored with care and counseling. Now, too often, it’s medicalized with puberty blockers or hormones—quick fixes that promise peace but rarely deliver it.
Dr. Kathy notes that this rush toward intervention ignores deeper pain. “Many children unhappy with their gender are really lonely, overwhelmed, or dissatisfied with life,” she says. “They think changing their gender will make it better—but it won’t.”
True healing, she reminds us, addresses the root issues: insecurity, loneliness, anxiety, or a longing to be seen. Real restoration doesn’t come from changing a body; it comes from renewing the mind.
Transformation, Not Information
Romans 12:2 puts it plainly:
“Do not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
Schools, media, and medicine each offer “patterns” that claim to fix what’s broken. But only Christ transforms from the inside out.
“Transformation requires daily discipleship,” Dr. Kathy says. “It’s not another chore—it’s a privilege. Parents can’t assume church once a week will undo what kids hear every day. We’ve got to step up and engage.”
Wayne adds that we don’t have an information problem—we have a formation problem. Kids aren’t short on facts; they’re short on frameworks. If parents don’t supply one, the world will.
Practical Ways to Engage
Here are small, steady steps you can take this week:
Review your child’s curriculum. Ask what books and visuals are used to teach identity.
Set media boundaries. Watch together, pause often, and talk through what you see.
Meet with your child’s doctor. Ask how they handle conversations about gender and mental health.
Disciple daily. Talk about God’s design for humanity. Pray together. Read Scripture that celebrates His creativity and order.
Using the 8 Great Smarts to Build Formation
You can awaken truth through every kind of “smart”:
Word Smart: Read Bible stories aloud and discuss what they teach about who we are.
Logic Smart: Explore cause and effect—what happens when people ignore God’s design?
Picture Smart: Create art showing God’s creation of male and female.
Music Smart: Listen to worship songs about identity and sing together.
Body Smart: Act out Bible stories that show courage and faith.
People Smart: Role-play how to stand for truth with kindness.
Self Smart: Give your child space to journal prayers about who God made them to be.
Nature Smart: Go outside and observe how God made everything with purpose and order.
Hope for a Confused World
Yes, the world is loud. Yes, lies about identity are everywhere. But parents are not powerless. You can ask, observe, and engage. You can replace counterfeit frameworks with truth. You can fill your home with conversations of hope, not fear.
Dr. Kathy says it best:
“When kids know God’s answers to their core questions—Who can I trust? Who am I? Who wants me? Why am I alive? What do I do well?—the counterfeits lose their grip.”
We don’t need to shout louder than the culture. We just need to speak truth daily, in love, and let it shape hearts that are confident, compassionate, and Christ-anchored.