Giving The Gift They’ll Never Forget
It’s 9:40 p.m., and your feet finally stop moving. One kid is still awake, rattling off their Christmas wish list. The Amazon cart is full, but your heart isn’t. You scroll through the posts and see another mom asking, “What do I buy my 11-year-old?” And you? You’re trying to make magic happen with a tired soul and a budget that’s more meh than merry.
Dr. Kathy Koch has seen this play out all over her social media feeds, and so have I. The pressure to give the perfect gift is real. But what if the best gift isn’t wrapped in paper and bows?
What if the most lasting gift you could give your child is a deeper connection with you?
That’s what we talked about in today’s podcast.
The Meaning Behind the Gift
My wife and I don’t always do gifts the same way every year. We sometimes give presents. We sometimes give presence. And in our better moments, we realize that what matters most isn’t the price tag or the perfect fit, but the message the gift carries: “I see you. I know you. You belong.”
That’s not always easy. Especially in a busy, full life. We get it. You’re making sure they’ve got food on the table and shoes that fit. The idea of crafting a custom, sentimental gift might feel exhausting.
But that’s exactly why Dr. Kathy brought up The Eight Great Smarts. These are not just ways your kids learn and think; they’re also a key to giving them something that reflects how God wired them and how deeply you know and love them.
Belonging Is the Real Gift
It’s not just about giving something fun or educational; it’s about giving a gift that connects. When you give a picture-smart child a design kit, you’re saying, “I notice your eye for beauty.” When your logic-smart child gets a puzzle or STEM science kit, you’re saying, “I value the way you think.” And when your body-smart kid gets a new soccer ball, you’re saying, “I get what makes you come alive.”
Even better? Giving experiences that reinforce your child’s place in your family.
In our home, one of our favorite traditions is giving our kids money to buy each other a gift. It’s a whole event. They pick names. We go to the store or the mall. They split up and help each other shop, and as they shop, they think about what their sibling really loves. No algorithms. No ads. Just intentional love. And yes, this doubles as a genius way for parents to sneak in a coffee date.
Those gifts mean something. Because they’re rooted in relationship.
Pressure Off. Purpose On.
Dr. Kathy shared a personal story about her grandparents that stopped us in our tracks. When they weren’t sure what to buy their growing grandkids, they gave each one $50. But here’s the twist: the kids had to buy their own gift, wrap it, and put it under the tree. No one else knew what it was. And when the presents were opened on Christmas morning, laughter and surprise filled the room.
That wasn’t just about money. It was about trust, autonomy, and dignity. It was a memory, and a message: “You matter enough to choose something that brings you joy, and that brings us joy.”
Let’s Rethink the List
Look, we’re not saying “no gifts.” We're saying no pressure for perfect. The perfect gift isn't found, it's felt. It says:
You are seen.
You are known.
You belong here.
Maybe it’s time we shifted the question from “What should I get them?” to “What will remind them they are loved, known, and secure?”
8 Great Smarts Gift Ideas
Here are ways to connect with your kids this Christmas using Dr. Kathy’s 8 Great Smarts:
Word Smart – Write a note inside a book or create a personalized family Mad Libs game.
Logic Smart – Give a science experiment kit, a mystery novel, or a strategy board game to do together.
Music Smart – Create a family playlist or take your child to a local concert they’ll love.
Body Smart – Gift a pass to a trampoline park, dance class, or even a build-it-yourself obstacle course for the basement.
Picture Smart – Buy an art set or interior design book, or let them redesign part of their room.
Nature Smart – Go on a winter hike with a nature journal or gift a rock tumbler or animal tracking kit.
People Smart – Host a family game night or give a coupon book for coffee dates, shared time, or movie nights.
Self Smart – Give a journal, devotional, or reading nook essentials—blanket, mug, and quiet time tokens.
This Christmas, let your gifts echo God’s heart: He gives good gifts to His children (James 1:17), and the best gift He’s ever given is His Son, not because we earned it, but because He loved us.
So maybe this year, what your child needs most isn’t another “thing,” it’s a reminder they’re known, they’re wanted, and they belong.