Kids Thrive on Feeling Valued
It’s the first week of school. You watch your daughter step into the classroom. Her backpack is a little too big, her sneakers a little too white, and you can almost hear the question in her head: “Do I matter here?”
Every child carries that question into classrooms, onto playgrounds, even around dinner tables at home. And here’s the truth: they won’t thrive until they know the answer is yes. Children thrive when they feel valued.
But in today’s performance-driven world, value often feels measured in grades, trophies, or test scores. That’s exhausting, for kids and for parents. Maybe you’ve caught yourself saying, “If he just worked harder…” or “If she could just make varsity…” Only later do you realize your child heard: “I’m not enough unless I achieve more.”
The good news? God’s Word tells a different story. Scripture says our worth is given, not earned. Psalm 139 reminds us that our children are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” Their value isn’t up for debate; it’s settled in Christ.
So how do we make sure our kids not only hear that truth but feel it every day? Let’s walk through it together.
Connection Changes Everything
Think back: the teacher who remembered your name, the coach who asked how you were doing, the grandparent who noticed your artwork on the fridge. Those small moments mattered because they told you: “I see you. You matter.”
Our kids are hungry for the same. A look in the eye, a name remembered, a story listened to without interruption, it’s like oxygen to their sense of worth. This is the simplest step to helping out kids overcome performance culture. Say their name. Sit with them longer. Celebrate their smarts in each story they share.
Help Them See Education Should Mean More
Tests and grades are fine. But real education should grow life skills: curiosity, wonder, adaptability, joy. A child who knows they’re valuable will raise their hand to ask the question, take the risk to try something new, and bounce back when it doesn’t go perfectly. That’s what prepares them for life, not just the next exam. Point out when they’re resilient that those are muscles they built in math class that are being used in real life. Highlight how their reasoning is likely a reflection of their study of history and their understanding of cause-and-effect relationships. The more they see school in action in their lives, the more they see the value of education.
Celebrate Their Gifts
Exodus 31 tells us about Bezalel and Oholiab, craftsmen chosen by God to build the tabernacle. Not priests, not kings, but builders. God valued their creativity as worship. That’s the kind of celebration our kids need: recognition that their unique gifts matter to God and to us. Whether they’re drawing, coding, running, or telling jokes, those aren’t side hobbies. They’re threads in the tapestry of who God made them to be.
Putting It Into Practice: The 8 Smarts
Here’s where Dr. Kathy’s 8 Great Smarts give us practical ways to communicate value:
Word Smart: Leave a note in their lunchbox or send a text: “I love who you are.”
Logic Smart: Help them connect the dots, “See how your problem-solving helped your team?”
Picture Smart: Display their artwork or let them doodle while you talk, showing you value their vision.
Music Smart: Sing their favorite song with them, or make a playlist together that reminds them of the truth.
Body Smart: Toss a ball in the yard, bake cookies side by side. Movement plus presence says, “I like being with you.”
Nature Smart: Take a walk and marvel at creation. Say, “The same God who made this beauty made you.”
People Smart: Invite mentors or family to affirm them, too. Multiple voices reinforce their value.
Self Smart: Encourage journaling or quiet reflection. Teach them to ask God, “Who do You say I am?”
Remember: Your kids don’t need a perfect script or the next big achievement to feel valued. They need your eyes, your words, your time, and your belief in the truth God already declared: “You are mine.”
When children know they matter, they thrive. And when they thrive, they shine, not just for themselves, but as lights pointing back to the God who treasures them most.