When Likes Hurt: Helping Kids Navigate Social Media and Mental Health
In a world where social media is the main stage for teen life, it’s easy to miss what’s happening behind the screen. But the truth? For many kids—especially those already struggling with anxiety or depression—social media isn’t just distracting. It’s amplifying their pain.
The Real Cost of the Scroll
Recent research out of the University of Cambridge has confirmed what many parents already feel in their gut: social media doesn’t just reflect how our kids feel—it can shape how they feel, especially if they're already hurting.
Kids with mental health struggles often spend more time online than their peers—about 50 minutes more per day. And they’re not just watching videos. They’re comparing. Scrolling through highlight reels. Wondering why their life doesn’t look like “that one influencer girl” or the kid in their class who somehow always seems happy.
Here’s the kicker: social media promises connection, but often leaves kids lonelier than ever. Why? Because it creates a world where everyone else looks like they’ve got it all together, and your child feels like the only one who doesn’t.
If you’re a parent who learns best through logic and analysis, here’s the pattern:
Pre-existing anxiety ➡ more screen time ➡ social comparison ➡ emotional isolation ➡ worsening anxiety.
That’s a cycle no one wants their kid stuck in.
But Isn’t All Screen Time Bad?
Not exactly. While social media demands constant emotional engagement, something like watching a show with the family might actually offer relief. Passive screen time—like movie night or a goofy game show—can be a way to unwind, not compare. It’s not just about screen time. It’s about screen type.
If your child thrives through structured routines, try swapping 20 minutes of scrolling with a predictable evening wind-down. It’s a small shift with a big return.
Three Steps to Engage Your Kids on This Topic:
Start with questions, not lectures. Ask: “How does Instagram make you feel when you close the app?” Let them reflect instead of react.
Make swaps, not rules. Suggest: “What if we did a YouTube-free night and had ice cream and go for a walk instead?”
Model it. Your kids notice if you’re scrolling at red lights. Small sacrifices from you will speak volumes to them.
Connect Through the 8 Great Smarts
Here’s how you can support each smart in digital wellness:
Word Smart – Talk it out. Have rich conversations about what’s real and what’s curated.
Logic Smart – Show them the science behind algorithms and why it’s designed to keep them scrolling.
Picture Smart – Let them create art or vision boards offline instead of just consuming visuals.
Music Smart – Start a playlist together that reflects real feelings, not just trends.
Body Smart – Go for a walk while chatting about their digital life.
Nature Smart – Unplug and head outdoors—even ten minutes in the sun boosts mood.
People Smart – Prioritize face-to-face time with encouraging friends and family.
Self Smart – Journal together. Help them sort out emotions and clarify identity apart from the internet.
Social media isn’t going anywhere—but neither are you. Your presence, questions, and intentionality can help your child stop comparing, start connecting, and discover a life that’s full—on or offline.