Playgrounds, Rules, and Raising Brave Kids

Ever read a playground sign lately?

You might think you’re entering a maximum-security jungle gym.

No tag.
No jumping off swings. No running up the slide.
No stomach down slides or sitting on the monkey bars.

In some districts? No swings at all.

It’s easy to laugh. But as parents, we feel the tension:
Do we want safe kids, or strong ones?
Do we need more rules, or more resilience?

That’s what we explored in today’s Celebrate Kids podcast. Because the way we structure our kids' play might be forming more than just recess habits, it might be shaping how they engage risk and navigate conflict.

Why Do We Even Have Recess?

Recess isn’t just a break from learning. It is learning.

Kids don’t just blow off steam, they build skills:

• Teamwork and negotiation

• Courage and cooperation

• Body awareness and confidence

• Risk-taking and rule-following

• Joy and relational problem-solving

But when the list of “No’s” is longer than the list of possibilities, something starts to happen inside a child. They look over their shoulder more than they look up. They start to wonder if their instincts are wrong. They stop exploring. And that’s a loss.

What Are We Actually Teaching with All These Rules?

When we overregulate, we might keep kids safe in the short term, but we also keep them small.

As Dr. Kathy pointed out, some kids will still go down the slide headfirst.
But now they’ll do it when no one’s watching.
And what does that teach them? That curiosity must be hidden. That adult rules are meant to be dodged, not trusted.

There’s a difference between structured freedom and fear based control.
One builds trust. The other builds resentment.

What if We Trained Judgment Instead of Just Demanding Compliance?

Dr. Kathy offered a simple idea that changes everything:
Let the kids make the rules.

What if, instead of just writing rules on signs, we sat down with a group of third graders and asked, “What’s wise here? What’s safe?”

What if, instead of hovering, we coached them?
Not just about the slide or the monkey bars, but about judgment, self control, empathy, and cause and effect thinking.

They don’t just need adults with whistles.
They need mentors with presence.

Jesus Didn’t Shush the Kids, He Called Them Closer

In Matthew 19, people brought noisy and energetic children to Jesus.
And the disciples? They tried to shut it down.

But Jesus didn’t send them away.
He didn’t demand a sanitized, whisper-only environment.
He said, “Let the little children come to me.”

Not because He loved chaos, but because He loved children.
He knew their movement was part of their learning.
Their curiosity wasn’t a threat. It was a sign of life.

And He knew that the kingdom of God isn’t a classroom of compliance, it’s a playground of grace, where transformation happens not by policing behavior, but by inviting children into relationship.

Use the 8 Great Smarts to Build Healthy Playground Confidence

Whether your kids are rule-followers, thrill-seekers, or somewhere in between, here’s how to build judgment, confidence, and cooperation using their God-given smarts:

• Word Smart:
  Have your kids write or discuss “Our Playground Promises.” Let them create their own list of wise rules—and explain why they matter.

• Logic Smart:
  Ask your child, “What could happen if…?” scenarios. Let them reason through cause-effect (e.g., jumping off swings or running up slides).

• Picture Smart:
  Sketch an “ideal playground” together. Let your kids design safe, creative play structures where freedom and fun meet wise boundaries.

• Music Smart:
  Create a rhythm game for recess—clap out safe vs. unsafe choices. Use rhymes or jingles to help kids remember safety guidelines with joy.

• Body Smart:
  Celebrate playground movement! Play tag, climb, and test balance together. Then reflect: what felt fun, what felt risky, and what did we learn?

• Nature Smart:
  Go to a nature playground. Let them explore hills, logs, and open-ended environments where they self-regulate and create new kinds of play.

• People Smart:
  Use social moments on the playground to teach empathy—like resolving who gets the swing next, or how to invite others into the game.

• Self Smart:
  After play, reflect one-on-one: “What choices are you proud of today?” “What was hard?” “How did you feel when someone got hurt or left out?”

Remember: We don’t have to overprotect our kids to help them grow up.
We just need to be present.
To observe.
To teach.
To trust them with the tools to figure it out—with guidance.

Because the point of a playground isn’t just play.
It’s practice, for life.