Raising Resilient Kids in a Click-and-Scroll World
Kids today just don’t stick with things the way we used to. Whether it’s finishing a book, trying out for a team, or even sticking out a tough school project, many students are checking out before they even start. If you've felt frustrated or confused about this, you’re not alone. But before we throw our hands up, let’s look at what’s really going on and how we can gently and intentionally turn the tide.
Dr. Kathy Koch recently explained that many of today’s students are struggling with motivation and perseverance, not because they’re lazy or “just different,” but because of how their environment has been shaping them. Think about it: if you could fast-forward every boring part of life, avoid anything that felt hard, and customize your entire experience to your likes and dislikes... would you ever choose the hard stuff?
Our kids are growing up in a world of instant everything—instant messages, instant entertainment, and instant feedback. But life (and especially faith, growth, and purpose) is anything but instant. And that gap? It’s where we, as parents, can step in with love, wisdom, and just the right kind of nudges.
So, what can we do?
We start by helping our kids believe that effort is worth it. That they can do hard things. That they matter enough to rise to challenges, and that failing doesn’t make them failures. Dr. Kathy talks a lot about the importance of helping kids believe they are secure, that they belong, and that they have purpose. When kids know they’re seen and loved, they’re more likely to push through even when the going gets tough.
Let’s take a look at what this could look like in your everyday parenting—no educational degree or superhero cape required:
Three Simple Steps to Help Kids Rebuild Motivation and Perseverance
1. Celebrate small wins.
Did your daughter reread the same paragraph three times but finally finish her homework without a meltdown? That’s a win. Celebrate that perseverance. “I love how you didn’t give up, even when it got tough.” Boom—you just lit a spark.
2. Shift from “you can do it” to “you did do it.”
Confidence isn’t built on hype—it’s built on proof. Catch them succeeding and remind them of it. Kids need to see themselves as capable, not just be told they are.
3. Ask better questions.
Instead of “How was school?”, try “What’s something you did today that was tricky, but you stuck with?” Give them the language of growth, grit, and grace.
Engaging with the 8 Great Smarts™
Dr. Kathy Koch’s 8 Great Smarts give us an incredible toolbox to connect with our kids in ways that resonate with them. Want to light a fire of motivation and resilience? Start here:
Word Smart – Have your child write a journal entry about a time they didn’t give up.
Logic Smart – Work through a problem together—puzzle, math, or even why a video game level isn’t working—and let them lead.
Picture Smart – Ask them to draw a comic strip of themselves overcoming a challenge.
Music Smart – Build a “perseverance playlist” together. Let them pick songs that make them feel strong.
Body Smart – Do a physical challenge—run, balance, obstacle course—then talk about how it felt to finish.
Nature Smart – Observe something in nature (a tree in wind, an ant carrying food), and talk about how persistence shows up there, too.
People Smart – Role-play a tough situation where they need to speak up or stick it out.
Self Smart – Give them quiet time to reflect or write. Ask them what they learned about themselves recently.
Remember: our kids are growing up in a world that’s louder, faster, and more demanding than the one we knew. But that doesn’t mean they can’t grow strong roots. In fact, with the right encouragement, these kids can be some of the most resilient, creative, and purposeful people we’ve ever known.
So, let’s stay in it. Let’s keep showing up with open ears, steady words, and hearts that say: You matter. You are capable. And we believe in you.
Because perseverance isn’t born—it’s built.
And we get to help build it.
For more on this, check out Dr. Kathy’s book, Resilient Kids>>