Why Celebrating Milestones Matters for Your Kids (and You Too!)
Kids don’t grow up all at once. They mature in milestones—and many of those moments are what we call rites of passage. These aren't just Instagram-worthy snapshots; they’re deeply formative experiences that help your child recognize they are growing, changing, and stepping into more of who God made them to be.
Dr. Kathy Koch highlighted how essential these “growing up moments” are. Whether it’s getting their first “real” Bible, staying home alone for the first time, or taking a trip with their youth group—each milestone marks growth not just in age, but in character and confidence.
And guess what? Your celebration of those milestones matters more than the milestone itself.
Why Rites of Passage Matter (Even in a World of Mixed Messages)
Society sends some pretty confusing signals. At 16, kids can drive. At 18, they can vote. At 21, they can drink. But do any of these automatically mean they’re ready for the responsibility? Not always. That’s where emotional maturity and character age come in—and your role as a parent is key in identifying when your child is truly ready.
This isn’t just about rules or age. It’s about your kid’s readiness to respond—can they handle disappointment? Think through their decisions? Stay calm under pressure? These are signs they’re stepping into a new level of maturity, and that’s what we want to celebrate.
And while there’s no perfect playbook, Dr. Kathy reminds us: this is where traditions, shared memories, and intentional conversations come in. These mark the transition with meaning—they help your child own their growth.
Celebrating Growth at Every Stage
So how do you celebrate these rites of passage without going overboard… or under-celebrating?
Here are 3 easy ways to begin:
Name the Moment. Say it out loud. “Wow, today you showed a lot of maturity by choosing to walk away from that argument.” Help them see their growth.
Mark It with Meaning. Create a tradition around the milestone. A special dinner. A handwritten letter. A symbolic gift like a journal or Bible. Even a milkshake works when you add intentional words.
Talk About What’s Next. Let the milestone be a launching pad. “Now that you’ve shown this responsibility, what’s something else you’d like to try or grow in?”
Engage Their Smarts to Deepen the Moment
Dr. Kathy Koch’s 8 Great Smarts gives us a beautiful tool to connect these celebrations with our kids' natural wiring. Here's how you can engage each smart when celebrating a rite of passage:
Word Smart – Let them journal the experience or write a prayer. Encourage them to share about it in their own words.
Logic Smart – Talk about what this step means and why it matters. Break it down logically.
Picture Smart – Capture the moment visually—photos, drawings, or symbols that mark the memory.
Music Smart – Create a playlist for the occasion or share a meaningful song that fits the transition.
Body Smart – Do something physical to celebrate—hike, build, create. Let them move to mark the moment.
Nature Smart – Tie the milestone to something in nature—plant a tree, take a walk, or reflect on how seasons change.
People Smart – Celebrate with others. A small gathering or a word of affirmation from a mentor or grandparent can mean a lot.
Self Smart – Give space for reflection. Ask what they learned about themselves and how they’ve changed.
Remember: You don’t have to plan a perfect ceremony or wait for a big life event. Every small step matters. The first night alone, the first serious conversation about faith, the first time they take responsibility and it sticks—these are worthy of celebration.
So pause. Pay attention. Let your child see that growth is real—and worth honoring.
Because when we celebrate growth, we don’t just mark a moment. We multiply confidence. We fuel identity. We raise kids who know who they are and Whose they are.