When Life Doesn’t Make Sense and Mental Health Isn’t Well

Have you ever felt like you’re balancing way more than you signed up for? Maybe taking care of little ones and also looking out for older relatives, all the while trying to keep your own health (mental and physical) in a good place? You’re not alone. It’s easy to feel like you should be in tip-top shape all the time, but let’s face it: life has its bumps, and sometimes those bumps are more like giant potholes. The good news? There’s hope and strength to be found in accepting that life can be tough, and that it’s okay not to be 100% all day, every day.

Below, we’ll chat about how striving for health and acknowledging struggles can coexist. Then, we’ll share three simple steps you can take with your kids to help them understand this balance. You’ll also find a quick guide to connecting with your kids on these topics in ways that match their unique gifts. Let’s jump right in!

Health and Struggles: Finding the Balance

Maybe you’re a “checklist” person, and you like having your weekly meal plans laid out, vitamins scheduled, and exercise routines set in stone. Or perhaps you’re more of a free spirit, tuning in to how you feel each day and adjusting as you go. Both approaches can work, but challenges—like unexpected deadlines at work, caring for aging parents, or oh, you know, newborn twins—can throw any perfect plan off course.

That’s where acceptance plays a big role. It’s about recognizing that sometimes life gets so busy or stressful that your healthy routine might look a little different. You might grab a quick catnap wherever you can get it, or call a friend for help when you’re at your limit. In those moments, you’re still pursuing health, but in a way that acknowledges reality.

Real-Life Resilience

Ever feel like you’re juggling flaming torches of responsibilities? You’re not alone. Think about the biblical story of David. He was supposed to be king—talk about a big job description—but he spent a lot of time running for his life before he actually sat on the throne. Even in our modern world, we see that true growth and strong character often form in the valleys, not on the mountaintops.

It’s also okay to remind yourself (and your kids) that struggles can actually teach us resilience, selflessness, and empathy. It’s not about ignoring the hard stuff; it’s about admitting it’s there, taking a moment to breathe, and then finding hope in Christ. Naomi’s story from the Book of Ruth is a perfect example of that: she went from bitter loss to a renewed, joy-filled life as Ruth directed her gaze to God.

Self-Care: Not Just a Buzzword

Here’s something that should be on everyone’s to-do list: self-care. It’s not about being selfish. Whether you’re the type who thrives on daily structure or the one who rolls with life’s spontaneity, taking time to recharge is essential. Sometimes that means powering down your phone for 10 minutes, locking yourself in the bathroom for a quick breather, or grabbing a nap when the kids (finally!) settle down. These micro-breaks can give you the energy to pour love and care into the people around you. Even better, they create a space where you can meditate on God’s Word, spend time in prayer, so send a life-line to a friend close to God who can give you courage and perspective in what you’re facing.

Trusting in Renewed Beginnings

One last piece of encouragement: even when it feels like everything is spinning out of control, there’s always the chance of a new beginning with Christ Jesus. Take it from Naomi in the Bible—she thought her story was over, but it was actually leading her to something beautiful and redemptive. Sometimes we have to move through bitterness or discouragement before we see the light at the end of the tunnel. Give yourself the grace to heal, to explore fresh possibilities, and to believe in renewal—no matter how big or small.

Three Simple Steps to Engage Your Kids

1. Share Real-Life Stories
   Challenging times aren’t just felt by you. Sometimes, these challenges aren’t JUST for you. Your kids can learn what happens in challenges as you lead them. Pick a moment in your life (or a simple Bible story) where you felt stuck but then found hope. Tie that into what ever challenges you’re facing. Keep it light and age-appropriate, but let them see that it’s okay to struggle and overcome.
   

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions
   During mealtime or bedtime, ask your kids, “What’s something that was hard for you today?” Then ask, “What’s one thing that made you happy?” This validates both the tough stuff and the good stuff, and helps put the tough stuff in perspective and outlines that joy can still exist when happiness feels far away.
   

3. Help Your Kids Create a Game Plan
   Encourage your kids to think of small ways to take care of themselves. Devotion and prayer times are powerful and important. Rhythms like this give hard times a place to go. Create a physical space for this to exist. Maybe that’s making a “rest corner” in the living room. But also, create spaces where joy exists. Planning weekly silly dance parties after dinner on Friday, or maybe even Monday to let off steam. Keep it fun and simple, and provide a physical space for these things to go and show kids you don’t have to always carry hard times. They go to actual places.

Connecting Through Dr. Kathy Koch’s 8 Great Smarts

Kids have different ways of learning and connecting. Here are some quick ideas to help your children understand the balance of striving for health and accepting struggles, tailored to each “smart.”

1. Word Smart
   - Encourage them to journal or write a short story about a time they overcame a challenge.
   - Read uplifting books or poems together that highlight resilience.

2. Logic Smart
   - Create a simple chart or puzzle that tracks daily goals (like sleep, water intake) and how they connect to feeling good.
   - Work on a cause-and-effect scenario: “If I go to bed on time, I’ll have more energy tomorrow.”

3. Picture Smart
   - Draw or paint something that represents “struggles” on one side and “strength” on the other.
   - Find images that symbolize new beginnings and put them on a family vision board.

4. Music Smart
   - Write a quick family rap or song about pushing through tough moments.
   - Listen to upbeat or inspirational music together when things feel heavy.

5. Body Smart
   - Do a quick stretch session when frustration arises.
   - Play movement games that reinforce teamwork and empathy (e.g., wheelbarrow races or trust falls for older kids).

6. Nature Smart
   - Go for a nature walk and discuss how seasons change—just like life has ups and downs.
   - Plant seeds and watch them grow as a tangible reminder of fresh starts.

7. People Smart
   - Role-play different scenarios of helping others through tough spots.
   - Volunteer together, even in small ways, to show how empathy and support can change someone’s day.

8. Self Smart
   - Encourage quiet reflection time. Maybe they can keep a simple gratitude or prayer journal.
   - Teach them to do a quick “feelings check-in” by naming what they feel, why they feel it, and one thing they can do about it.

Remember, you don’t have to have it all figured out. You’re allowed to acknowledge when life feels overwhelming and still keep striving for health—whatever that looks like in your season right now. By embracing struggles, practicing self-care, and trusting in Christ for fresh beginnings, you’ll not only grow stronger, but you’ll also give your kids a beautiful example of resilience. And that is one of the best gifts you can ever give them.