Parenting to Nurture Each Child’s Uniqueness
If you've ever wondered, Why is my kid so different from their siblings? Or How do I help them be their best without turning them into someone else?—welcome to the parenting adventure!
Every child is a world of their own, filled with quirks, talents, and a very particular way of seeing life. As parents, it can be easy to fall into the trap of comparison—between siblings, with other kids at school, or even with our childhood experiences. But what if I told you that parenting is less about "shaping" kids and more about discovering them?
The Parenting Puzzle: Four Ways Kids Process Life
Every child approaches life differently. If you’ve got multiple kids, you’ve probably seen this firsthand. One might love structure, another thrives in creative chaos, and another needs to talk everything out. That’s because each child’s mind is wired in a way that influences how they learn, play, and feel loved.
The Organizer: Some kids need routine, checklists, and clear expectations. Give them a daily schedule, and they’re thriving.
The Explorer: These kids ask why about everything and love making connections between ideas. They need deep conversations and open-ended questions.
The Creator: If your kid is drawing on the walls (or turning the laundry basket into a rocket ship), congratulations—you’ve got an idea-driven, outside-the-box thinker!
The Doer: Some kids learn by doing. They need hands-on experiences and real-world applications to understand new concepts.
Once we understand how our children process life, we can encourage them in a way that resonates with them.
Your Child’s Sensitivity is a Strength
Some kids feel everything—like little emotion radars, picking up on the slightest tension in a room. Others? They’re resilient and seem to bounce back quickly from setbacks. Dr. Kathy emphasizes that neither is "better"—just different.
If your child is deeply sensitive, they might need a calm home environment and extra encouragement to navigate big emotions.
If your child is less sensitive, they might need intentional guidance on empathy—learning to notice and care about the emotions of those around them.
When we honor these traits instead of wishing they were different, our kids develop confidence in how God uniquely wired them.
Three Simple Steps to Nurture Your Child’s Uniqueness
Notice what makes them light up. What do they get excited about? What do they do when they have free time? These clues reveal their natural strengths.
Speak life into their strengths. Instead of saying, Why do you always ask so many questions?, try I love how curious you are! Keep asking!
Adjust expectations (and comparisons). Just because a friend’s child excels in soccer doesn’t mean yours has to. Your child’s lane is the right one for them.
Engage Your Child Based on Their “Smart”
Dr. Kathy Koch’s 8 Great Smarts highlights different ways kids naturally think, learn, and engage. Here’s how you can connect with your child in ways that energize them:
Word Smart: Read books together, have fun debates, or let them teach you something through storytelling.
Logic Smart: Solve puzzles together, play strategy games, or let them ask why without shutting them down.
Picture Smart: Give them art supplies, encourage imaginative storytelling, or let them redesign their room.
Music Smart: Turn daily activities into songs, explore different genres of music, or encourage instrument play.
Body Smart: Take them outside, let them build something, or create movement-based learning opportunities.
Nature Smart: Hike, garden, or watch nature documentaries together—anything that connects them to the world around them.
People Smart: Encourage teamwork, role-playing, or deep conversations about friendships and emotions.
Self-smart: Give them space to think, journal, and reflect. Let them have "quiet time" to process their emotions.
Remember: Parenting isn’t about making our kids fit in—it’s about helping them stand tall in who they are. When we celebrate our children's uniqueness, we give them the confidence to grow into exactly who they were created to be. And honestly, that’s the kind of parenting that frees us, too.
What’s something special about your child that you can nurture today?