Supportive Parenting, Avoiding Outsourcing Parenting, and The Power of Grandparents
While having support as parents is essential, we can't give up our role. This isn't about rejecting help or running on empty, it's about knowing when to lean on others without losing sight of what our kids need most: our presence, guidance, and love.
The Power of Active Parenting
Parenting isn't a task to check off. Sure, there are a lot of people who can help raise a child: teachers, coaches, and even grandparents. But you, as the parent, are the foundation. When we outsource too much, we risk letting others define our kids’ values, beliefs, and identities.
Dr. Kathy points out how many parents today are looking to raise their kids differently from how they were raised. But while it's valuable to learn from the past, our kids still need us at the helm, steering them toward the values we hold dear. The key is embracing help while remaining the leading influence in their lives.
And that includes extended family, too. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, and mentors can offer valuable support, but they shouldn’t replace parents. They’re a rich part of the tapestry, offering wisdom and love, but the primary role is still yours.
Boundaries for Healthy Relationships
One of the most valuable tools in your parenting toolkit is boundaries. Dr. Kathy emphasizes how critical it is to define the types of relationships you want for your kids and who you allow into their lives. Your child’s development can be influenced by their surroundings, which means it’s crucial to surround them with people who support your family’s values and who respect your role as a parent.
Setting boundaries with extended family members or mentors doesn’t mean being harsh; it’s about being clear and loving. It’s okay to say, "This is how we’re choosing to raise our kids, and we’d love for you to support us." This doesn’t shut out others but invites them to partner with you in creating a healthy, supportive environment.
Active Parenting, Not Passive Outsourcing
You might feel like there’s always someone (or something) else ready to take the reins—whether it’s the school, the coach, or even the latest parenting app. But remember: you don’t need to let go. Parenting is about presence and relationship, and kids thrive when they know their parents are actively involved in their growth.
Now, you may be thinking, "That’s a lot! How do I juggle it all?" Here are three simple steps to help you stay on top of it:
3 Simple Steps to Stay Involved:
Make Time for One-on-One Connections – This can be as simple as a quick check-in after school or setting aside some uninterrupted time for a movie night. Ask your kids what’s on their minds and listen actively.
Set Clear Expectations with the Village – Whether it’s with teachers, family members, or coaches, communicate your parenting values clearly. This way, everyone is on the same page when it comes to what’s best for your kids.
Teach Healthy Boundaries – Help your kids understand the importance of choosing their influences carefully. Talk with them about who they spend time with and the kind of behaviors that align with your family’s values.
Remember: Parenting is tough, but it’s also one of the most rewarding roles you can have. By staying engaged, setting clear boundaries, and embracing the unique ways your kids think and learn, you’re ensuring they grow into confident, secure individuals. So, take a deep breath—your involvement matters more than you know. Keep loving, guiding, and supporting your kids through every stage of their journey.