Let Kids Try More Than One Thing
I recently asked Dr. Kathy how her parents introduced her to new things as she was growing up, and her answer made me smile because it was especially strategic. She started tap dancing because she told her parents she did not want to be tall anymore. Her parents were problem solvers, so her mom found a dance class, and what began as an answer to a childhood concern eventually became something Dr. Kathy genuinely enjoyed. Music was different. Her parents chose piano lessons because music mattered to them and because they believed learning an instrument could build diligence through practice and improvement. Sports were simply part of childhood too. In other words, some activities came from Kathy’s interests, some from family values, and some from opportunities her parents put in front of her. That combination probably paints a healthier picture of childhood than feeling like we have to identify a child’s lifelong passion by age seven.
Parents feel pressure here because extracurricular activities can start to feel strangely permanent. If our kid signs up for soccer, are we now a soccer family? If they begin piano, are we expected to buy the expensive instrument and eventually talk about scholarships? Somewhere along the way, trying things can get confused with specializing. But childhood is uniquely suited for experimentation. Kids need enough different experiences to discover what energizes them, what builds skill, what stretches them, what frustrates them, and what simply isn’t a fit. The goal is not to engineer a perfectly optimized childhood. The goal is to create enough thoughtful exposure, so children have something real to discover about themselves.
Watch What They Naturally Move Toward
The 8 Great Smarts give parents a useful lens for this because children rarely approach every opportunity the same way. Dr. Kathy encouraged parents to watch what kids naturally gravitate toward in their free time. A young Body Smart child may turn the living room into a gymnastics floor before anyone ever suggests lessons. A Music Smart child may repeatedly head toward the instruments in the church nursery or spend unusual amounts of time tapping rhythms or noticing melody. A Picture Smart child may constantly draw, build, arrange, design, or imagine. Those patterns are worth noticing because joy and energy often clue us into the smarts a child uses most comfortably.
That does not mean every natural interest should immediately become an organized activity. It means parents can use observation instead of randomness. If a child continually gravitates toward music, maybe attending the symphony, trying piano, joining a choir, or experimenting with an instrument makes sense. If a child loves movement, perhaps a sport, dance, martial art, gymnastics, or another physical experience would be worth trying. If Nature Smart shows up strongly, maybe the better Saturday activity is a hiking club, gardening program, animal experience, or outdoor science opportunity rather than automatically signing up for the same thing every sibling did. The important shift is that we stop asking only, “What do families like ours usually do?” and start asking, “What does this particular child seem drawn toward?”
Sometimes Kids Should Try What Does Not Come Naturally
At the same time, Dr. Kathy made an important correction: children shouldn't only do what they already do well. If a child isn't naturally Body Smart, soccer may be useful precisely because it builds coordination, teamwork, perseverance, and body awareness. One child may enjoy soccer because he is skilled and competitive. Another may enjoy the exact same team because his friends are there and he loves the social environment. That is why the 8 Great Smarts should never become eight boxes that limit children. They are pathways we can awaken and develop, not labels that tell us what a child is allowed to attempt. “You are not Body Smart, so you should not play sports” would misuse the framework. So would “You are Logic Smart, therefore every extracurricular activity should revolve around chess, robotics, or math.”
Sometimes we lean into strength. Sometimes we strengthen weakness. Sometimes we simply expose. And sometimes the value of the activity has very little to do with the skill we thought they were learning. A child signs up for baseball and learns friendship. Another begins drama and discovers courage. Someone takes art and learns patience. A kid joins a team because he loves competition and eventually learns to encourage someone less talented than he is. Parents should stay curious enough to notice all of those outcomes.
Family Values Can Shape Exposure Without Dictating Identity
Dr. Kathy also emphasized that family values matter. Her parents loved music, so piano was part of the family experience. Her brother and sister in law later required their children to learn piano and try at least one other instrument because music mattered deeply in their home. There is nothing wrong with a parent who loves guitar asking all the kids to try guitar lessons for a few weeks. There is nothing wrong with a sports loving family taking their kids to games or inviting them onto the field. Parents can pass on what they love.
The problem begins when exposure turns into possession. Dad loves guitar; therefore, every child must love guitar. Mom loved soccer; therefore, every child must play soccer. Grandpa was an artist; therefore, the grandkids should all take painting seriously. That moves from invitation into control. Family values can open doors without requiring every child to walk through the same one. A six week introduction to guitar may reveal a passion in one child and complete disinterest in another. Both discoveries have value. The parent can say, “This matters to me, so I wanted you to experience it,” without saying, “This mattered to me, so it has to become part of your identity too.” That distinction lets parents pass along a culture while still parenting individuals.
Don’t Let Gender Close Doors God May Have Opened
Our conversation also moved into activities that get labeled as “boy things” or “girl things.” Some of those assumptions may simply come from generational experience. A grandparent who grew up when competitive sports were mostly available to boys may see athletics as naturally masculine. Someone else may assume that dance, art, cooking, or music should appeal primarily to girls. Dr. Kathy urged parents to be much more careful.
A girl can run track in the morning and wear a prom dress that afternoon. A boy can play football and love watercolor. A boy can cook. A girl can build. A creative boy should not be shamed for not caring about basketball scores, just as an athletic girl should not be made to feel less feminine for preferring to compete over craft. Our children should not have to deny a genuine gift to fit someone else's idea of what boys or girls are supposed to enjoy. Parents may need to work harder to provide healthy models when a child has an interest that peers stereotype. Introduce the creative boy to accomplished male artists, dancers, actors, musicians, designers, or chefs. Help the athletic girl see women who demonstrate strength without diminishing femininity. The goal is not to erase meaningful differences between boys and girls. The goal is to avoid turning cultural assumptions into unnecessary restrictions on gifts God may have given.
Trying Something Is Not the Same as Loving It
Then comes the difficult parenting question: what happens when they want to quit? This is where exploratory parenting can become expensive. Your kid begged to play T ball. You paid the registration fee, found the glove, rearranged the family calendar, drove across town three times a week, and two practices later they announce, “I don't like baseball.”
That is when the philosophical conversation about child led discovery suddenly gets very practical. Dr. Kathy's typical answer is that kids should finish the commitment. If they auditioned for a play and got a part, others are depending on them. If they joined a team, teammates and coaches have planned around their participation. Children need to learn that commitment means more than their current level of enthusiasm.
That lesson is not primarily about baseball or piano. It is about character. Plenty of things are worth doing but become boring before they become rewarding. Skill almost always includes repetition. Relationships eventually require inconvenience. Education requires work after the novelty wears off. If we let children quit every time something becomes uncomfortable, they may never stay long enough to discover the satisfaction that comes on the other side of difficulty.
Week Five May Look Different Than Week Two
Dr. Kathy told the story of her own piano lessons and acknowledged that she does not remember whether she immediately flourished. She does know, though, that she continued. Because she stayed with piano, she eventually played keyboard instruments in band, marched in a major parade, participated in music at Purdue, and remained a musician through graduate school. None of that future would have been obvious during an early lesson that did not go well.
That is one reason parents need a longer horizon than children have. A child evaluates today's practice. A parent can see the entire eight week season. The child feels embarrassed because she is not good yet. The parent knows that “not good yet” is what learning looks like. The kid says, “I hate this,” and sometimes they really mean, “I hate feeling incompetent.” If we rescue them immediately from incompetence, we may accidentally rescue them from competence too. This does not mean we stubbornly force children through every miserable experience. It means we do not confuse difficulty with damage.
Finish the Commitment, but Parent the Individual
Dr. Kathy's recommendation was clear but not rigid: generally, finish the commitment, but remember we parent individuals. A child should understand before signing up that an eight week activity means eight weeks. Parents can explain the calendar, the expectations, and the people depending on them. Then, if enthusiasm fades, we can walk beside the child rather than simply letting them go.
But there are exceptions. Maybe the experience is genuinely harming the child emotionally. Maybe the team environment is unhealthy. Maybe a developmental challenge means the demand is unreasonable. Maybe the child's behavior is damaging the experience for everyone else. Maybe the lesson we hoped to teach about resilience can be learned more wisely somewhere else. In those cases, quitting may be appropriate. I appreciated Dr. Kathy's follow-up question: What are we going to do with the time we just redeemed?
That keeps quitting from becoming an automatic move back toward screens, gaming, or comfort. If soccer is truly not working, what will take its place? Art? Reading? Family walks? Music? Service? Building? Another responsibility? The goal isn't to punish the child for quitting, but to make sure the decision still moves toward formation rather than simply away from difficulty.
First Corinthians 12 Gives Us a Better Picture of Gifts
The passage that came to mind for me was 1 Corinthians 12, where Paul writes that there are different kinds of gifts, service, and working, but the same God is at work through them. The variety isn't presented as an accident that needs correcting. Gifts are distributed deliberately for the common good. That gives parents a healthier way to think about extracurricular activities. We are not trying to discover the one activity that makes our child impressive. We are giving them opportunities to discover how God has put them together. Some activities awaken gifts. Some develop gifts. Some expose weaknesses. Some build character. Some become lifelong loves. Some end after eight weeks with the very useful conclusion, “I learned something here, and I don't need to do that again.” All of those outcomes can be part of formation.
The child who tries soccer and discovers he loves people more than competition learned something. The kid who takes piano and realizes music awakens something deep may have just found a lifelong language. The girl who joins robotics and discovers she likes solving problems with a team has learned something about both competence and purpose. Our role is to create enough room for discovery without predetermining the result.
Expose, Encourage, Support, Don’t Engineer
There is a difference between giving children opportunities and trying to manufacture a particular kind of child. Exposure says, “Let's see what happens.” Encouragement says, “I see something in you worth developing.” Support says, “I'll help you stay with this long enough to know what it really requires.” Engineering says, “I already know who you are supposed to become.” We should be very cautious with the last one. God already has a design for the child in front of us.
We get the privilege of paying attention. Watch what brings energy. Notice what they do well. Introduce things that may strengthen weaker areas. Let family values create opportunities. Refuse stereotypes that unnecessarily close doors. Teach children to finish commitments. And remain humble enough to let an experience end when its work in your child's life is complete.
Exploring Activities Through the 8 Great Smarts
Word Smart: Try debate, theater, writing groups, reading clubs, storytelling, journalism, speeches, or language study.
Logic Smart: Explore chess, coding, robotics, strategy games, science clubs, engineering projects, puzzles, or problem-solving competitions.
Picture Smart: Offer drawing, photography, painting, design, filmmaking, woodworking, crafts, architecture, or other visual arts.
Music Smart: Try instruments, choir, lessons, worship teams, rhythm activities, concerts, or simply enough exposure to discover whether music awakens joy.
Body Smart: Explore sports, dance, martial arts, hiking, theater, building, mechanics, or other experiences where learning happens through movement.
Nature Smart: Try gardening, animal care, outdoor clubs, camping, fishing, conservation, nature study, or environmental projects.
People Smart: Consider team sports, service projects, student leadership, theater, clubs, church groups, or activities built around collaboration.
Self Smart: Give room for individual art, writing, reading, collecting, research, personal projects, music practice, or activities where a child can develop something independently.
Remember: However your child is smart, do not feel pressure to identify a perfect path too early. Childhood gives us room to try, fail, practice, quit appropriately, recommit, and discover. We can expose our kids to a wide world, encourage what begins to awaken, strengthen what needs development, and trust that God understands the gifts He distributed better than we ever will.