One of the strangest parts of parenting is realizing that your child can look older than they are, before they are actually ready for what comes with growing older. A taller frame, a sharper opinion, a driver’s permit, or a more independent tone can make it seem like a child has crossed into a new stage overnight. But most parents eventually discover that growth is not nearly that neat.

One of the harder things about parenting is that some struggles are loud and easy to spot, while others stay quiet for a very long time. Loneliness often falls into that second category. We tend to imagine a lonely child as one who sits by themselves, has no friends, or seems obviously left out, but that is not always how loneliness works.