Raising Gender-Confident Kids Podcast: Truth and Compassion Foster Confidence

Some kids fold their arms and shut down the minute you bring up identity. Others go quiet but keep listening, hoping you’ll keep the conversation safe enough for them to stay in it. And some will challenge you outright, pushing to see if you really believe what you say.

That’s why truth and compassion are not optional—they’re inseparable.

In a recent Celebrate Kids Podcast conversation, Dr. Kathy Koch and Wayne Stender unpacked what happens when you try to raise confident kids with only one of those tools. Truth without compassion feels cold. Compassion without truth becomes hollow. But together? They become a life-giving environment where children can discover who they are in God’s eyes and stand there with joy.

Why Truth Comes First

In today’s cultural noise, kids are swimming in messages about gender, worth, and identity that can feel convincing but lead to confusion. Truth isn’t just one option on a menu—it’s the anchor.

Psalm 139:13–14 tells them (and us): “You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”
That’s not just poetry. It’s a declaration: your life, your body, your gender, your identity—they’re all intentional.

When a child is rooted in that truth, they can measure every other message against it.

Why Compassion Must Walk Beside It

Truth that feels like a hammer rarely changes hearts. But truth delivered with compassion can.

Compassion leans in and says, “I see you. I hear your questions. You’re safe to wrestle with this here.”
It asks before it answers. It slows down to listen. It invites a child to explore their feelings without fear that they’ll be dismissed or shamed.

And compassion isn’t agreeing with everything. It’s choosing love as the atmosphere where truth can take root.

Where Kids Are Getting Their “Truth” Now

Let’s be honest—TikTok, YouTube, and even the classroom often act like the loudest voices in a child’s life.
Some of those voices mean well, but many present identity as something you can rearrange until you feel happy. It sounds freeing… until it leads to deeper insecurity.

That’s why kids need a compass—truth that’s constant—and the relational safety of compassion so they’ll actually trust it.

How to Weave Truth and Compassion Into Daily Life

• Start with listening. Let your child talk without jumping in to correct.

• Use real-life examples. “You felt nervous about the play, but you did it anyway. That courage is part of who God made you to be.”

• Bring Scripture into the moment. Short, repeatable verses remind them of unchanging truth.

• Keep your tone gentle. The goal isn’t to win; it’s to guide.

What Happens When You Balance Both

A child who grows up with truth alone might know right from wrong but doubt whether they’re loved when they mess up.
A child who grows up with compassion alone might feel loved but drift without direction.

But a child who grows up with both learns:

• “I can ask anything.”

• “I can trust what you tell me.”

• “I know who I am—and I’m glad.”

A Next Step for You

Try this tonight: as your child heads to bed, say, “You are fearfully and wonderfully made. I’m so glad God made you exactly as you are.”

Then pause. Let them respond. Listen. You’ll be surprised what you learn.

Because when truth and compassion meet in your home, confidence follows.