The Danger of Discounting Relationships: Why Wisdom Still Needs a Human Face
“Can I just ask Siri?”
It was a simple question. Your child wanted to know what to say in a tough friendship moment—and instead of turning to you, they turned to a screen.
Ouch.
Let’s be honest: our kids are growing up in a world where they’re trained to value answers more than people. Where a chatbot can sound wise, but doesn’t know your child’s heart or story. Where fast facts often replace slow conversations. And in the process, something priceless is being quietly discounted—relationships.
Because wisdom? Real wisdom doesn’t come from an algorithm. It grows in relationship, in empathy, in the messiness of life. And if our kids grow up thinking all they need is information, they’ll miss the beauty of understanding.
More Than Right Answers
AI is incredible. It can tell you how to make mac and cheese in four different languages. But it can’t sit beside your child with empathy when they’re hurting. It doesn’t know the story behind the silence. It can’t offer grace.
That’s where you come in. You’re not just a parent—you’re a guide, a filter, a model of what wisdom looks like in real time. Because wisdom isn’t just knowing—it’s knowing what matters most and when it matters most.
And usually, that means knowing people.
The Missing Piece: Context
In a recent podcast, Dr. Kathy and Wayne told the story of a chatbot responding to a distressed teen. On paper, the answer seemed “right”—but without context, it was dangerous.
That’s the scary part of letting technology define truth: it forgets that real people are listening.
Our kids don’t just need facts. They need connection. They need the kind of wisdom that listens first, feels second, and speaks last. They need adults who aren’t just quoting Bible verses, but walking with them to live them out.
When Relationships Are Discounted, Wisdom is Distorted
Think about it: If your child gets used to taking advice from someone (or something) that doesn’t know them, they may start believing they’re not worth knowing.
That’s the emotional drift we’re seeing today. Kids feel lonely, even when “connected.” They get advice from the internet, but no hug. They get solutions, but no presence.
Discounting relationships doesn’t just weaken wisdom—it warps identity.
But when kids experience love, belonging, and grace in real relationships, they learn how to seek and apply wisdom in ways that honor God and others.
3 Simple Ways to Help Your Kids Value Wisdom in Relationship
Pause the Quick Answer
When your child asks something deep, resist the urge to Google. Sit with the question. Ask why they’re asking that question. Ask what they think. Then explore it together.Talk About the Why, Not Just the What
“Why do you think that advice worked for your friend?” or “Why does this decision matter in your story?”Model Relationship-Driven Wisdom
Say, “I’m asking Grandma because she knows me.” Or “I’m not ready to decide yet—I want to pray and talk with Dad.”
Using the 8 Great Smarts to Teach Relational Wisdom
Here’s how you can make wisdom stick in ways that match your child’s smarts:
Word Smart – Use conversation or storytelling to unpack past mistakes and wise mentors.
Logic Smart – Walk through cause and effect in relational decisions: “What happens when we ignore someone’s feelings?”
Picture Smart – Draw a “wisdom web” that shows how people, choices, and consequences connect.
Music Smart – Find songs that explore relationships. Ask, “What’s wise in this lyric? What’s missing?”
Body Smart – Act out tricky social situations and brainstorm how to respond with care and clarity.
Nature Smart – Talk about ecosystems and symbiosis: wisdom in creation is always relational.
People Smart – Discuss how others might feel or think. Play “walk in their shoes.”
Self Smart – Journal about a hard choice and how relationships helped—or should’ve.
Remember, Information can be outsourced. Wisdom can’t. Because wisdom lives in relationship—with God, with others, and with ourselves.
So keep being that voice your child can trust. Not because you have every answer—but because you care enough to walk with them through the question.
And that? That’s where real wisdom begins.