It’s Not Just a Contract, It’s a Covenant

Tech can be a tool, a temptation, or a trap, and sometimes all at once.

That’s why conversations around screens and devices aren’t just about control. They’re about calling. The calling to parent well and to help children become who God designed them to be. In a world where culture shifts quickly and technology grows more invasive by the week, we need to be intentional in how we lead our families.

Setting up tech boundaries isn’t just about what we stop our kids from doing. It’s about who we’re inviting them to become.

When parents set up a tech agreement, it can feel like a list of rules. But it’s so much more than that.

It’s a covenant.

A modern-day Joshua moment. An “as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15) moment. That verse in Joshua comes after a call for the people of Israel to throw away their idols and recommit to following God. In the same way, when we create a plan for how our family will use (or not use) devices, we’re doing more than laying down laws. We’re reminding our kids who we are, and whose we are.

We’re telling them:

• You matter too much to let a screen define you.

• You are so loved that we won’t leave your heart and mind unguarded.

• We’re in this together, this is a we thing, not a you problem.

Boundaries, in this light, become a bold expression of love. They are evidence of care, not control. And when we invite our kids to help write the rules, especially as they get older, we reinforce their dignity and maturity. That’s discipleship. That’s parenting.

The Hard Reset (And Why It’s Worth It)

What if you’ve already missed the mark? Maybe your child has had a phone for two years, and you’re just now realizing the impact. Maybe you’ve seen the change, and it scares you. But you’re embarrassed to walk it back.

You’re not alone. And you’re not stuck.

We hear from parents all the time who say things like, “I didn’t know,” or, “I thought this was normal.” But love compels change. If behavior shifts, so should boundaries.

And if we model the change first, we offer our kids security, not confusion. We show them that repentance is possible and that humility is strength.

So go ahead. Be the parent who steps back and says, “We’re making some changes, not because you’re bad, but because we’ve learned something new. And because we love you too much not to respond.”

And don’t forget to offer alternatives. If you’re pulling back on screens, give your kids something to do. Cook together. Walk the dog. Play board games. Set out books. Pull out puzzles. Take your son on a drive. Let your daughter teach you how to sketch. Tech isn’t the only place where joy lives. Help your kids rediscover wonder without Wi-Fi.

One of the most important shifts we can make in this move as parents is changing our language from “you” to “we.”

This is a family thing.

We all agree to protect one another.
We all put our phones away at dinner.
We all unplug before bed.
We all want to honor God and one another.

That’s not control. That’s community. And it’s how we build identity, which supports trust and builds character in our kids day by day in each choice, click by click.

So the next time your child pushes back and says, “You don’t trust me,” you can say gently, “It’s not just about you. It’s about all of us. And it’s because I do trust you that we’re walking through this together.”

Engaging the 8 Great Smarts in Tech Talks

Want to make these conversations with your kids even more meaningful? Here are ways to engage each of the smarts as you walk through tech expectations:

Word Smart – Write the contract together or journal reflections about screen time. Ask your child to create a “family tech motto.”

Logic Smart – Discuss the cause and effect of tech use. Let your child research screen time studies and bring their reasoning to the table.

Picture Smart – Draw posters of tech rules or illustrate positive screen alternatives. Watch how colors and visual expression reflect values.

Music Smart – Create a “tech-free” playlist for evenings or weekends. Use music to transition from screen time to rest time.

Body Smart – Act out scenarios around tech choices (role play social situations or temptations). Offer physical alternatives to screens, like sports or chores.

Nature Smart – Go outside during screen breaks. Explore how nature helps us reset and listen better to God and each other.

People Smart – Roleplay peer pressure situations. Talk about how screens affect relationships and how to show respect online and offline.

Self Smart – Reflect privately on how tech affects emotions. Encourage your child to set personal goals about their own use of devices.

No matter where you are in the tech journey, remember this: today’s conversations shape tomorrow’s character. Your presence, your humility, and your willingness to say “We’re going to do better” are powerful tools.

Let love lead. And let that love build kids who are confident and resilient, even in the face of the dark temptations of tech.