How to Talk to Kids About Violence Without Growing Fear
It started with a headline.
I was scrolling through the news while my kids brushed their teeth. The day was almost done. I wanted quiet. But instead of quiet, I found chaos. Another story of violence, another clip that made my stomach twist.
And then, small footsteps padded into the room. “Daddy, what are you watching?” my five-year-old asked.
In that instant, the world’s brokenness wasn’t far away anymore; it was sitting on my couch.
She’d heard the words. She’d seen the images. And her big eyes were asking a question my heart didn’t know how to answer: Why is the world so mean?
If you’ve ever been there, stuck between wanting to tell your child the truth and wanting to protect them from it, you know that ache. You want to give answers, but more than anything, you want to give peace.
Dr. Kathy says that’s exactly where our parenting faith is tested.
“Evil is real,” she says, “but God wins. Love wins. It restores, reconciles, and renews.”
The goal isn’t to explain everything. It’s to hold the tension, to teach truth without terror, and hope without denial.
Truth Without Terror
When your child asks about something terrible, you don’t need to give a full report; you give them a foundation.
Dr. Kathy often reminds us that we don’t need to hand our kids an adult version of reality. We hand them enough truth to strengthen their faith.
That means using words that fit their world. If your child asks about violence, tell them:
“Some people do bad things because they don’t know God’s love yet.”
“God is still good and still in control.”
“When we see something wrong, we can pray and do what’s right.”
It’s not about minimizing evil. It’s about magnifying God’s sovereignty.
And when kids learn that evil exists but doesn’t win, fear begins to lose its grip.
Security Isn’t a Feeling, It’s a Foundation
As our kids grow older, they start asking harder questions.
The world doesn’t feel safe. People fail. Leaders lie. Culture confuses.
But Dr. Kathy reframes the question:
“We don’t give kids a sense of security,” she says. “We give them security. His name is Jesus.”
A “sense” can vanish when the world shakes. Real security stands when everything else falls apart.
So when your kids face darkness, help them build trust in what never changes. That’s God’s love, His Word, and His steadfast presence. In these times, let your consistency become a reflection of His faithfulness.
When you show up, when you listen, when you forgive, you’re showing them what unshakable love looks like.
When the Heart Builds Pressure
Sometimes, the questions don’t come right away. They build, quietly and internally, until something small bursts them open.
I like to call these release valve moments. Our kids carry stress that grows in shaken bottles like soda pop in a closed container, and if there’s no place to release the pressure, it spills out sideways, through tears, silence, anger, or isolation.
That’s where parents step in, not with lectures, but with outlets. “When we create,” Dr. Kathy says, “we heal. When we serve, we stop staring at ourselves and start noticing others. And that’s where peace begins.”
Turn Emotion Into Expression
Helping kids release anxiety or fear doesn’t always mean deep talks. It means showing them what to do with their feelings. Dr. Kathy’s 8 Great Smarts give us simple ways to help kids process through creation, not just conversation:
Word Smart: Encourage them to pray aloud or write letters to God. Naming feelings brings freedom.
Logic Smart: Help them plan a way to serve someone who’s hurting, and restore calm.
Picture Smart: Let them draw hope. Ask, “What does light look like when it pushes out darkness?”
Music Smart: Play songs of worship that help them feel God’s nearness.
Body Smart: Go for a walk, build something, move. Activity releases what words can’t.
Nature Smart: Step outside and notice creation still thriving. God’s world keeps growing, even after storms.
People Smart: Let them talk through what they saw or felt. Listening is healing.
Self Smart: Give space for quiet reflection or prayer. Stillness is not avoidance; it’s restoration.
Every one of these outlets shifts the focus from fear to faith. From paralysis to purpose.
Where Grief and Joy Meet
When the Israelites rebuilt the temple in Ezra 3, the sound that rose wasn’t simple.
Some people wept for what was lost. Others shouted for what was new.
And Scripture says their voices blended until you couldn’t tell which was which.
That’s what it looks like to live faithfully in a broken world to hold grief and gratitude at the same time.
We can teach our children the same rhythm:
to weep over the world’s pain but to still sing of God’s goodness,
to name the evil around them but to cling fiercely to the truth that love always wins.
So, when your child asks about the violence they see, don’t panic.
Pause.
Pull them close.
Pray together.
Tell them, “Yes, the world is broken, but God is healing it. And He’s invited us to help.”
That’s the kind of hope that holds steady when the headlines don’t.
That’s the light that cuts through the dark.
“The pressure, anxiety, fear, and grief,” Dr. Kathy says, “are often self-focused. When we create, serve, and look outward, we release all that.”
Because in the end, faith doesn’t deny darkness, it just refuses to live in it.