Teach Them to Wonder: Helping Kids Imagine a Future With God
Sometimes I look at one of my kids and wonder what in the world they are doing. I mean that lovingly, of course, but parenting includes plenty of moments when the person in front of you seems to be operating from a plan nobody else received. What we discussed on the Celebrate Kids Podcast makes that question more interesting. Researchers studying the hippocampus have found patterns of neural activity that appear to help the brain simulate possible routes toward a goal. In other words, the brain does not simply remember where it has been. It appears capable of rehearsing where it might go.
That has implications beyond finding our way through physical space. Imagination and thinking about the future are closely connected. We can picture possibilities that do not yet exist. We can ask, “What if?” “Where could this lead?” That ability matters tremendously for children because eventually every child begins wrestling with some version of the question, “Why am I here, and where am I going?”
Security Gives Kids Somewhere to Push From
Dr. Kathy used an image I love. If you are standing in a swimming pool with a solid bottom, you can push hard and launch yourself through the water. Try the same thing in a lake with mud beneath your feet, and the result is very different. The firmer the foundation, the stronger the push.
Security works like that for children. When kids know who is trustworthy and that they are loved regardless of performance, they have a firmer foundation to explore from. They can try something difficult because failure does not threaten their sense of belonging. They can wonder about who they might become because they are not using the future to prove they deserve to exist in the present.
That connects directly to Dr. Kathy’s Five Core Needs. Security asks, “Who can I trust?” Identity asks, “Who am I?” Belonging asks, “Who wants me?” Purpose asks, “Why am I alive?” Competence asks, “What do I do well?” Purpose does not develop in isolation. Children imagine their future more clearly when the needs beneath purpose are becoming secure.
Kids Need to Know Who They Are Before They Can Imagine Who They May Become
This may explain why some teenagers freeze when adults start asking about the future. “What do you want to do?” “Where do you want to go to college?” We interpret the blank stare as laziness or lack of ambition. Sometimes the child simply does not know themselves well enough yet to imagine a future that fits.
We often say at Celebrate Kids that we are human beings before we are human doings. “Who am I?” comes before “What should I do?” A child who understands, “I love solving problems,” “I notice people,” “I think in pictures,” “I enjoy working with my hands,” or “I become energized when I serve” has material to work with. They can begin picturing contexts where those qualities might matter.
Wonder Has to Be Practiced
Parents can help children recognize that they already wonder. A child choosing among five books is imagining which one might be most enjoyable. A teenager debating whether to try a sport is projecting into two possible futures. They may not call this wonder, but that is what is happening.
Point it out. “You were imagining what might happen if you chose that.” “You noticed two possibilities and compared them.” When we name a developing ability, children begin recognizing that it has value.
Parents can model this too. Think out loud. “If we do this, what might happen next?” “If I took that job, what might it mean for our family?” Let children hear comparisons, sequences, causes, effects, and uncertainty. They need to see adults making thoughtful decisions without pretending every decision has an obvious answer.
Wonder Requires Room
One of the enemies of wonder is constant productivity. Wonder looks inefficient. It can involve staring out a window, asking a strange question, doodling, walking, tinkering, or sitting quietly long enough for an idea to form. We can become so determined to keep kids productive that we eliminate the silence where imagination begins.
Do not grade wonder. Do not ask whether the idea is realistic three seconds after the child says it. If your daughter says she wants to open a bakery on a sailboat, maybe you do not immediately explain maritime business regulations. Ask another question. “What would you sell?” “Who would come?” The purpose of wonder is not immediate feasibility. It is learning to imagine possibility.
Problems Give Wonder Somewhere to Go
Problem solving is another natural pathway to future thinking. A problem forces us to imagine something that does not yet exist: a solution. That is why we should be careful not to solve every difficulty before our children have a chance to wrestle with it.
Let them think. “What else could you try?” “What would happen if you did it differently?” The child who develops confidence in solving small problems today is practicing the same kind of thinking that may later help them navigate a career change, a difficult relationship, a ministry opportunity, or an unexpected calling.
Parents Have Dreams Too
This gets harder because parents are not neutral observers. We have imagined our children's futures before they knew what a future was. Maybe Dad loved baseball and quietly pictured a son who would love baseball too. We buy the glove, hang the pennant, sign him up, and begin wondering on his behalf.
There is nothing wrong with introducing children to things we love. Parents should open doors. We should expose kids to sports, books, music, work, travel, service, people, and possibilities they might never discover on their own. But introducing is different from assigning. Eventually we have to notice whether the child is actually walking through the door.
Our wonder about them cannot become more powerful than their emerging understanding of how God made them.
Give Them Trial Runs
Many children cannot imagine a future because they do not know what exists. They know teacher, doctor, athlete, firefighter, YouTuber, maybe whatever Mom and Dad do, and then we ask them what they want to become. That is not a very large menu.
Let them try things. Shadow someone. Volunteer. Spend an afternoon with a tradesperson. Visit a workplace. Help at church. Let the kid who loves baseball explore statistics, coaching, physical therapy, broadcasting, equipment, field management, or dozens of other ways an interest could intersect with work. An interest does not have to become a career, but exploration teaches kids that their futures can be broader than the first picture in their heads.
Use the Smarts to Ask Better Questions
The 8 Great Smarts give parents another way to awaken this thinking because different children imagine differently. A word smart child may respond to, “What word do you hope describes your future?” A picture smart child may actually see a scene. A people smart child may need conversation before an idea becomes clear. A self smart child may need silence before speaking.
The goal is not forcing every child through one career questionnaire. It is creating hospitable ways for different minds to explore possibility. When we ask better questions, children often reveal things they have been thinking about that we did not know existed.
Purpose Gives Direction Without Giving the Entire Map
For Christians, purpose is ultimately larger than occupation. A child may become an engineer, teacher, plumber, artist, parent, missionary, entrepreneur, physician, mechanic, or something that does not exist yet. But Scripture gives direction beneath all those possibilities: love God, love neighbor, grow in Christ, serve faithfully, make disciples, steward gifts, and participate in the good work God places before us.
That means a child does not have to know the exact destination to have direction. They can know what kind of person they want to become before they know what job title will appear beneath their name.
Abraham Moved Without Seeing the Whole Route
Hebrews 11 gives us a beautiful picture of this. Abraham is called to go “not knowing where he was going,” yet the passage does not portray him as purposeless. He is moving in response to God's promise and “looking forward to the city that has foundations, whose designer and builder is God.”
That is not the same thing as having a detailed map. Abraham knows enough to move because he knows whom he is trusting.
There is something freeing there for our children. We sometimes treat uncertainty as evidence that they are wandering. But faithful movement can look uncertain from the outside. A young adult may try something, discover it does not fit, adjust, learn, and continue. The absence of a ten year plan does not mean the absence of direction.
We Are Raising Kids to Navigate, Not Predict
That may be one of the greatest gifts we can give children: not a perfect future, but the ability to navigate one. Help them know themselves. Give them a secure place to launch from. Expose them to possibilities. Teach them to solve problems. Protect time for wonder. Ask questions rather than always giving answers. Let them try things. Let them change their minds.
Then keep pointing them toward the God who sees farther than they do. Our children do not need to predict every turn correctly. They need enough confidence to imagine the next faithful possibility and enough trust to move when the path becomes clear. The future may not look like the one we pictured for them. That is okay. God is not limited to our imagination.
Engaging Wonder Through the 8 Great Smarts
Word Smart: Ask, “What word would you love to describe your life when you are twenty-five?” Write it down and periodically talk about why that word matters.
Logic Smart: Ask, “What problem would you love to help solve someday?” Let them think through possible causes, solutions, and paths.
Picture Smart: Ask them to picture an ordinary day in their future. Where are they? What are they doing? Who is around them? What does the space look like?
Music Smart: Ask, “If your future had a song title, what would it be?” Let music become a way to describe hopes, energy, mood, and meaning.
Body Smart: Give them trial experiences. Let them shadow, build, work, move, volunteer, practice, or physically experience possibilities instead of only discussing them.
Nature Smart: Ask what patterns they notice in their own life. What environments consistently bring peace, curiosity, energy, or satisfaction?
People Smart: Give them people to think with. Introduce mentors, invite adults to describe their work, and let conversation help possibilities take shape.
Self Smart: Protect quiet. Ask, “When you imagine your future alone, what thoughts keep coming back?” Give them time before requiring an answer.
Remember: However your child is smart, resist the temptation to hand them a finished picture. Give them a secure place to stand, room to wonder, and confidence that God can lead them one faithful step at a time.