Raising Courageous Kids, One Order at a Time

Some of the best lessons in life don’t come from textbooks.

They come from the dinner table.

Imagine this: you walk into a busy restaurant with your family. The waitress smiles and asks, “What can I get for you today?” And instead of you answering, your eight-year-old leans forward and says, “My dad would like the steak, medium well. My sister wants the chicken tenders, no fries, just veggies, and I’ll have the burger, no pickles, please.”

Sound chaotic? Maybe. But it also sounds like growth.

Entrepreneur and family coach Scott Donnell shared this quirky family tradition: his kids order for the entire table. At first glance, it’s just a fun challenge. But behind it is something deeper: resiliency, confidence, communication, and courage. The stuff kids don’t get graded on, but the stuff that determines how they show up in life.

Dr. Kathy talked about this on the Celebrate Kids podcast because it really struck a chord. It’s the kind of parenting idea that’s simple, scalable, and rich with opportunity. Ordering for others requires eye contact, listening skills, memory, manners, and the ability to speak clearly. It invites kids to think beyond themselves. It builds presence and poise in real-world moments.

But here’s the important thing: not every kid will love it right away.

Some will sprint toward the challenge, our word-smart, people-smart, or logic-smart kids might treat it like a game. But others, especially our self-smart or picture-smart kids, may freeze. They might worry about getting it wrong or feel overwhelmed by the spotlight. That’s okay.

Growth doesn't always look like a bold leap. Sometimes it starts with a whisper.

As Dr. Kathy reminded us, if we individualize education in school, we should do the same at home. Maybe one child answers the host’s question about the number in your party. Another handles the drinks. The boldest kid tries the full table order. And the quieter one just practices eye contact and a simple “thank you.”

The goal isn’t performance. It’s progress.

And yes, sometimes progress comes with a face full of embarrassment. A missed detail. A forgotten order. A confused look from a server. That’s when kids need your grace the most.

Don’t let them crawl under the table. Pull them up. Sit beside them. Whisper reminders. Let them try again next time. Because resilience is built when failure doesn’t end the story, it begins a new chapter.

It reminded us of Moses, in Exodus 4, who told God, “I am slow of speech and tongue.” But God didn’t cancel His calling. He leaned in. He said, “Now go, I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”

God didn’t wait for Moses to be eloquent. He gave him support. And He gave him time.

That’s our job as parents, not to demand perfection, but to build courage through support. Not to shield our kids from all stress, but to make sure they never have to face it alone.

So, whether it’s a restaurant or a playground, the question is the same: Can we create moments where kids can practice courage with a safety net of love?

Let’s help them stand back up. Let’s teach them to try again.

Because courage doesn’t come from avoiding fear. It comes from knowing you're not alone in it.

Build Courage Through the 8 Great Smarts

Help your child practice bravery and communication through their strengths:

• Word Smart:
  Have your child write or role-play what they might say to a server. You can even script mock conversations at home to ease anxiety.

• Logic Smart:
  Talk through a restaurant order like a problem to solve. Who gets what? In what order? What details matter? Let your logic-smart child run the plan.

• Picture Smart:
  Draw the restaurant scene together. Visualize where the waiter stands, what expressions people make, how voices should sound. Visualization lowers stress.

• Music Smart:
  Create a “confidence playlist” to listen to before going out. Or sing a silly ordering song to practice lines before a meal.

• Body Smart:
  Rehearse using tone, volume, and posture. Let your child practice standing tall, speaking clearly, and gesturing with confidence.

• Nature Smart:
  Connect this idea to a lesson from nature: trees bend in storms but don’t break. Talk about resilience using weather, seasons, or animals as metaphors.

• People Smart:
  Pair your child with a sibling to role-play. Let one be the server and the other the customer. Switch roles and talk about how it felt.

• Self Smart:
  Invite your child to reflect privately: “How did that go? What felt good? What felt hard? What would you try next time?” Self-awareness is key to courage.

Remember: Courage isn't something kids are born with. It's something they build.

And you’re the coach, the companion, and the cheerleader.