Redefining Success: Teaching Kids That Wisdom Matters More Than Winning
For many, success looks like good grades, hard work, and confidence. Those are good things. But if we stop there, we risk raising kids who know how to achieve but not how to live.
Success isn’t necessarily about achievement, but alignment. It’s about helping kids grow into who God made them to be, full of wisdom, resilience, and joy.
Wisdom: The Heart of True Success
Dr. Kathy often says,
“Wisdom is the right application of knowledge in the right setting at the right time. It’s putting knowledge to work…Wisdom is agreeing with God.”
It’s easy for parents to focus on test scores and skills. But wisdom takes learning further; it transforms information into insight, and insight into action.
A child might memorize math facts or science terms, but wisdom asks, “What will you do with what you know?”
Dr. Kathy warns,
“Too many schools put too high an emphasis on knowledge. We teach kids that two plus two equals four, but not why it matters. The real question is, ‘So what?’”
Wisdom gives purpose to knowledge. It turns curiosity into calling. It helps children discern what’s right, not just what’s required.
Imagine a tree planted by water. Knowledge is sunlight; bright, energizing, and necessary. But wisdom? Wisdom is the root system. It draws truth deep into the soil of the soul, anchoring children when life’s winds blow.
Resilience: The Muscle of a Strong Spirit
Many kids today know how to start, but not how to stay. They know how to win, but not how to lose.
Resilience, the ability to recover, adapt, and persevere, might be the most overlooked ingredient of success. Dr. Kathy defines it this way:
“Resiliency is readily recovering from difficulties. It’s believing that I can do more than I’m currently doing and expecting that not every answer will be yes.”
In a world that celebrates ease, resilience teaches endurance. It builds courage in failure and humility in victory.
Dr. Kathy points out that optimism and resilience go hand in hand:
“Healthy optimism isn’t wishful thinking. It’s rooted in reality, the belief that, with God’s help, I can overcome.”
Resilient kids don’t crumble in the face of rejection; they learn from it. They don’t quit after disappointment; they adapt. They become the kind of people who say, “I can’t do this yet,” and then try again tomorrow.
For parents, that means letting kids face age-appropriate struggles without rushing in to fix them. It means celebrating the scraped knees and small do-overs, not just the perfect results.
When your child is discouraged, whisper this truth: Failure isn’t final. It’s fertilizer. It grows wisdom, courage, and empathy, if we let it.
Coaching, Not Controlling
True success can’t be forced; it must be coached.
Dr. Kathy explains it beautifully:
“A coach divides complex tasks into small pieces. A coach reteaches without shame or blame, because a coach knows learning is hard.”
Parents who coach rather than control give their children tools to grow instead of rules to fear. They break down challenges into steps, cheer effort as much as results, and remind their kids that growth takes time.
Think of it this way: You’re not raising a performer, you’re training a disciple.
When kids see that mistakes don’t cancel love, they become free to try again. That’s the soil where success grows best: steady, deep, and secure.
Redefining Success: Contentment and Growth
So what is success, really?
Dr. Kathy paints a picture that’s both freeing and inspiring:
“Success is contentment without plateauing. It’s peace with where I am, but a willingness to keep growing. It’s using my gifts to serve others and leave the world better than I found it.”
That definition turns success from a scoreboard into a sanctuary.
It’s not about chasing more; it’s about becoming more like Christ. It’s not about being the best; it’s about being faithful.
A successful child isn’t one who avoids failure, it’s one who learns to see God’s faithfulness in the middle of it.
Faith: The True Finish Line
The apostle Paul, sitting in a Roman prison, wrote about success in a way the world couldn’t understand.
“I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” — Philippians 3:14
He had lost his freedom, his reputation, even his comfort, but he hadn’t lost his joy. Because Paul knew success wasn’t found in where he stood, but in who he followed.
Success, then, is finishing the race of faith, eyes fixed on Christ.
And for parents, that means changing what we praise. Instead of asking, “Did you win?” ask, “Did you honor God?” Instead of saying, “I’m proud you got an A,” say, “I love how hard you worked.”
Every time we celebrate character over competition, we’re teaching our kids that the real victory is becoming who God designed them to be.
The 8 Great Smarts and God’s View of Success
Dr. Kathy’s 8 Great Smarts offer practical ways to nurture wisdom, resilience, and faith in every child:
Word Smart: Talk about what God says success is. Read Philippians 3:13–14 together and discuss what it means to “press on.”
Logic Smart: Encourage kids to analyze choices: “What happens if we act wisely versus quickly?”
Picture Smart: Have them draw or paint what “God’s kind of success” looks like: a growing tree, a light in the dark, a finish line with open arms.
Body Smart: Let them practice resilience through sports, building projects, or chores: activities that require endurance.
Music Smart: Sing songs that remind them of God’s strength and purpose: “Firm Foundation,” “Who You Say I Am”.
Nature Smart: Go outside and talk about seasons, how growth takes time, and pruning leads to fruit.
People Smart: Discuss how success includes serving and encouraging others.
Self Smart: Invite reflection. Ask, “When did you feel most at peace doing what you love for God?”
Each smart becomes a pathway toward God’s kind of success, not measured in medals or numbers, but in meaning.
Rooted to Rise
If we raise kids who chase applause, their joy will fade when the cheering stops. But if we raise kids who love wisdom, resilience, and truth, they’ll stand tall when life bends around them.
They’ll be rooted deeply in God’s Word. And they’ll rise, strong, steady, and full of grace, to change the world for His glory.
Because true success isn’t climbing higher. It’s growing deeper.