The Stories We Tell: How Children's Books Shape Our Kids (And How to Make the Most of Them)
You’re snuggled up with your child, book in hand, as their sleepy eyes track the words on the page. You finish the story, close the book, and—bam! They ask one of those questions. You know the ones. The kind that make you pause and think, How do I even begin to answer this?
Children’s books are so much more than bedtime fillers. They shape how our kids see the world, understand themselves, and even what they believe about right and wrong. And in today’s world, where stories carry messages about everything from family values to identity and purpose, being intentional about what we read with our kids is more important than ever.
But before you start stressing about which books are “safe” and which ones might teach something you don’t agree with, take a deep breath. You can navigate this well, and it doesn’t require a Ph.D. in literature. It just takes wisdom, curiosity, and a willingness to engage your kids in conversation about what they’re reading.
The Secret Power of Stories
Stories aren’t just entertainment—they are one of the primary ways we learn. Kids are wired to absorb the lessons woven into their favorite books. Whether they realize it or not, every story teaches them something about the world. The question is: What messages are shaping their hearts and minds?
Think about how different kids respond to books. Some want all the details just right (like why that tree in the background changed colors from one page to the next). Others are about the big picture—who won, who lost, and what the lesson was. Some kids hear a story and immediately want to do something with it, acting it out or drawing their version. And then there are the kids who take their time, quietly soaking in every word before sharing their thoughts days later.
Different minds engage with stories in different ways. Whether your child thrives on structure and details, big ideas and theories, practical application, or deep reflection, you can help them interact with books in a way that fits their learning style. The key is to pay attention and meet them where they are.
How to Help Your Child Engage With Stories (In a Way That Actually Sticks!)
Be an Investigator – When you pick up a new book, take a moment to check it out. What’s the main theme? What ideas does it introduce? Is it presenting a message you want your child to absorb? If not, does it open a door for meaningful discussion? Not every book has to be a perfect fit, but every book should give you an opportunity to talk with your child about what they believe.
Ask Good Questions – Instead of asking, “Did you like it?” try questions like: What surprised you in this story? How did the character solve their problem? If you were in the story, what would you have done? This helps kids go beyond surface-level engagement and actually think about what they’re reading.
Connect Stories to Real Life – If a book talks about kindness, find a way to practice it. If a character faces a hard decision, ask your child if they’ve ever had to make a tough choice. When kids see that stories aren’t just fantasy but actually connect to their lives, the lessons stick in a much deeper way.
Engaging Your Child’s Unique Strengths with the 8 Great Smarts
Dr. Kathy Koch teaches that kids engage with the world in different ways—through their natural “smarts.” Here’s how you can use that to help them engage deeply with books:
Word Smart – These kids love words! Encourage them to retell the story in their own way or write an alternate ending.
Logic Smart – They enjoy figuring things out. Ask them about patterns in the book or have them predict what will happen next.
Picture Smart – They think in images. Let them draw scenes from the story or describe what they saw in their imagination.
Music Smart – They connect through sound. If there’s rhythm or rhyme in the story, let them create a tune for it!
Body Smart – They need movement. Act out the story together or have them role-play as a character.
Nature Smart – They connect with the world around them. If a book features animals or nature, take a walk and talk about it in real life.
People Smart – They love interaction. Encourage them to share the story with a sibling or friend and discuss their favorite parts.
Self–Smart: They need reflection. Give them time to process the story and ask them what part meant the most to them.
Remember: Reading with your kids isn’t just about helping them learn words—it’s about helping them learn truth. Every book they read is shaping their understanding of life in some way. As parents, we have the privilege (and responsibility) to be their guides through the world of stories.
So tonight, as you curl up with your child and crack open a book, remember: you’re not just reading a story. You’re helping shape a heart, build a mind, and nurture a soul. And that’s a story worth telling again and again.