Secure in an Unsteady World: Helping Kids Find Stability in Christ
Canceled flights. Government shutdowns. News of programs paused or benefits delayed. For many adults, these disruptions are inconvenient, but for children, they can quietly shake their sense of safety.
When the world feels uncertain, kids often absorb more than we realize. “Some children have no idea what’s happening because their parents have sheltered them well,” explains Dr. Kathy Koch. “Others are very concerned. Some are going hungry. Some have noticed changes, maybe they’re eating out more or seeing stress at home, and they’re wondering why.”
Even if families seem unaffected, children notice tone, tension, and shifts in their routines. In these moments, parents become the first line of security, not by solving every crisis, but by being steady when everything else feels unpredictable.
When Behavior Speaks Louder Than Words
So how can parents tell when their child feels insecure?
“Behavior is the clue,” says Dr. Kathy. “If a child who’s normally independent suddenly clings, or a social child starts isolating, something’s off. If they’re whining, sleeping differently, or less talkative, those are warning signs.”
The key is knowing your child well enough to recognize the change.
“I like to say, know what turns them on and what ticks them off,” she laughs. “When you know what’s normal, you’ll see when something’s not.”
Some children need to talk through their fears. Others need reassurance through quiet closeness. Either way, your presence says, You’re safe here.
Controlling What You Can
Dr. Kathy encourages parents to focus on what they can actually control.
“We can’t control everything,” she reminds us. “But we can control some things. You can’t control the government or the news, but you can control your home—your tone, your truthfulness, your consistency.”
That daily reliability—showing up, following through, smiling when you greet your child, teaches trust. Even small gestures communicate stability.
“Do you remember to pick them up? Do you call them by the right name?” Dr. Kathy jokes. “Every kid has a story about being called their sibling’s name. One boy told me, ‘At least they’ve never called me the dog!’ Another said, ‘I’ve been called the dog!’”
She smiles. “Underneath the laughter is a longing: See me. Know me. Remember me. That’s where security starts.”
Teaching Kids That True Safety Isn’t About Circumstances
Our culture often ties security to stability, steady jobs, full pantries, predictable days. But what happens when those things change? Dr. Kathy points to a deeper truth.
“Security built on things, money, comfort, even routines, will fade. What happens when the job ends or the house burns down? That’s why true security must rest in people, and ultimately, in God.”
Her Five Core Needs framework begins with security in relationships, not survival needs.
She contrasts this with psychologist Abraham Maslow’s famous “Hierarchy of Needs,” which builds from air, food, and shelter toward “self-actualization.”
“Maslow’s model starts with survival. Mine starts with Scripture,” Dr. Kathy says. “We were created to relate—to God first, then to others. Security isn’t what we have. It’s who we trust.”
Security That Survives the Storm
The Apostle Paul’s letter to the Philippians is helpful here. Writing from a Roman prison, Paul said:
“I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances... I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:11–13)
Paul’s peace didn’t come from comfort, it came from confidence in Christ. His story shows us that identity doesn’t come from safety; it creates it. When we know who we are in Christ, we can face anything.”
For children, this truth becomes their anchor. Even when the world shifts, when systems break, routines crumble, or headlines change, parents can remind them:
Your foundation isn’t what’s happening around you. It’s who God is within you.
Helping Kids Feel Secure—Through the 8 Great Smarts
Parents can help kids build inner security through Dr. Kathy’s 8 Great Smarts framework, using creativity, curiosity, and conversation. Try these:
Word Smart: Read Philippians 4:11–13 together. Ask, “What do you think Paul meant by learning to be content?”
Logic Smart: Discuss a current event or problem and identify what’s within your control and what’s not.
Picture Smart: Draw a “security pyramid.” On the bottom, write “money,” “home,” “school.” On the top, write “God.” Talk about which parts change and which never will.
Music Smart: Sing or listen to songs about trust and hope—like “Cornerstone” or “He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands.”
Body Smart: Build a tower of blocks labeled with things kids depend on (friends, sports, home). Remove one block at a time. Discuss what happens when those fall away, and who never does.
Nature Smart: Go outside and find something unshakable—a tree trunk, a rock—and talk about what roots or foundations help it stand.
People Smart: Ask your child, “Who helps you feel safe?” Share how you build trust with others.
Self Smart: Encourage journaling or prayer: “When did I feel safe today? When did I forget that God was near?”
When we teach our kids that their security rests not in the calm of the world but in the constancy of Christ, we give them more than comfort, we give them courage.
They learn that when everything shakes, they can still stand firm.