Redefining Strength by Raising Boys and Girls to Flourish God’s Way
When California Governor Gavin Newsom warned that America faces a “masculinity crisis,” the headlines focused on politics. But beneath the talking points lies something far more important than elections, the souls of our sons and daughters.
Governor Newsom admitted that men and boys are struggling. “Suicide rates, dropout rates, suspension rates, they’re off the charts,” he said. His concern was political. He wasn’t concerned about the spiritual or even personal reality of young men. He worried about losing male voters.
That distinction matters. Because when we only care about how people perform for us we stop seeing them as people and start seeing them as props.
And if we’re honest, that temptation can creep into parenting too. Dr. Kathy notes,
“Sometimes we want our kids to do well because it makes us look good. It gives us a sense of identity or success. But children aren’t our report cards, they’re God’s creations.”
She warns that when parents view their children’s behavior as a reflection of their worth, joy becomes conditional. “What happens when they fail? When they bring home a C in math or lose the big game?” she asks. “If their success defines us, their struggle will destroy us.”
Instead, she says, “We want them to do well because flourishing is good for them, spiritually, emotionally, mentally. It’s not about our checklist. It’s about their calling.”
This conversation isn’t just about boys. It’s about God’s design for both genders. It’s about how that design is being blurred in culture.
“I want boys to want to be boys and girls to want to be girls,” Dr. Kathy explains. “To respect God’s choice. To see that He is a good, intentional Creator who makes no mistakes.”
That doesn’t mean boxing kids into stereotypes. It means teaching them to delight in how God made them and to respect others who are made differently.
“Girls can sweat on the ball field and wear a prom dress that night,” Dr. Kathy laughs. “There’s nothing wrong with either one.”
When she said this at a recent youth leadership event, the audience burst into applause. “We’ve forgotten to celebrate that balance,” she says. “Femininity and masculinity aren’t rivals. They’re reflections of God’s nature.” It’s about flourishing where God has planted our young people, and inspiring them to see how God has made them on purpose, with a purpose, for a purpose.
Human flourishing, she says, is “living life to its fullest, discovering who God made you to be and doing it well.” It’s marked by health, service, and growth, not pride or dominance.
That truth echoes King David’s words to his son Solomon before his death:
“Be strong, and show yourself a man… keep the charge of the Lord your God.” (1 Kings 2:2–3)
David wasn’t calling Solomon to aggression or entitlement. He was calling him to courage and to hold strength under God’s authority.
In a world that equates manhood with muscle and womanhood with appearance, Scripture reframes both through character.
When we raise sons and daughters who know who they are and Whose they are, we’re not raising political talking points. We’re raising image-bearers.
In this, you can help your kids delight in God’s design and build character that lasts using the 8 Smarts:
Word Smart: Read 1 Kings 2:2–3 together. Ask, “What kind of strength do you think David meant?”
Logic Smart: Talk about the difference between control and stewardship. What’s one way we can use strength to serve instead of dominate?
Picture Smart: Draw a “Flourishing Tree.” The roots are truth; the trunk is character; the fruit is courage and kindness.
Music Smart: Listen to a worship song about identity—like “Who You Say I Am.” Talk about what it means to be chosen and loved.
Body Smart: Do something active together—a sport, a hike, a project—and talk about how God made our bodies to work and serve others.
Nature Smart: Observe plants or animals that thrive in balance (like bees and flowers). Discuss how God designed interdependence, not competition.
People Smart: Point out examples of strong men and women who lead with humility—coaches, teachers, family members. What do they have in common?
Self Smart: Reflect or journal: “What do I love most about how God made me? How can I use that to bless others?”
When we teach our kids to celebrate how God made them we do more than raise well-behaved children. We raise flourishing image-bearers who are secure in the God who never confuses power with love.