What If Learning Isn’t the Problem, But How We Talk About It Is?

Have you ever opened your child’s backpack, pulled out a flurry of worksheets, and thought, “Wow, they’re learning a lot!”?

Only to ask, “What did you learn today?” and hear: “Nothing.”

You’re not alone.

A Brookings Institution report found that less than half of all high schoolers say they believe they’re learning much each day. Yet over 70% of parents think their kids are learning a lot. That’s a massive perception gap, and it’s not just about content. It’s about connection. And confidence. And curiosity.

So what’s really happening in our schools? And maybe more importantly, what’s happening in our homes?

The Problem Isn’t Always School. Sometimes It’s the Way We Engage It.

Kids don’t always recognize learning in the moment, especially when it feels passive. When students are told what to memorize and when to regurgitate it for a test, learning feels like a hoop, not a doorway.

Dr. Kathy put it this way: “Children do a lot at school. But they don’t always know what they’ve learned by doing it.”

That’s why the questions we ask matter. Instead of “What did you do today?” we might ask:

• “What did you discover today?”

• “How will that be useful someday?”

• “Did anything surprise you or make you curious?”

These small tweaks open big doors. They invite reflection. They restore meaning. They let kids imagine that learning isn’t just a task, it’s preparation for a full, faith-filled life.

Awe and Wonder: Not Just for Grade School

You’ve seen it. In early grades, kids light up. They color. They sing. They go on field trips. They imagine dragons and reenact history. They learn in a full-body way that is noisy and joyful and alive.

Then middle school hits. And the rows of desks multiply. The wonder fades. Standardized testing ramps up. Teachers become specialists in content, not in children. The energy shifts from delight to efficiency.

But what if we didn’t let that happen?

What if awe and wonder weren’t a luxury, but a core part of learning, even for older kids?

This is where parents come in.

You don’t have to overhaul the system. But you can influence the culture of your home. When your child comes home drained or disinterested, instead of only pushing through the homework, you can bring learning back to life.

Tell them stories. Take a field trip. Ask them to teach you what they learned. Connect their math homework to budgeting for groceries. Show them how fractions live in the kitchen or how history shows up in family stories.

Don’t Just Raise Smart Kids, Raise Influential Ones

In Daniel 1, we see a teenager taken from his homeland into Babylonian exile. And though Daniel was educated in Babylon’s culture and language, he didn’t lose himself.

Why?

Because his learning had roots. It wasn’t just knowledge, it was conviction. His early experiences had shaped a faith that guided his choices, even in captivity.

Daniel didn’t conform. He influenced.

And so can your child.

But influence doesn’t come from acing every test. It comes from understanding who you are, who God is, and how learning is part of the life He’s called you to live.

Helping Your Kids Reclaim Wonder Through the 8 Great Smarts

Dr. Kathy’s 8 Great Smarts help us see that every child is a unique learner. Some thrive in stories. Others in systems. Some in movement. Some in silence. Every smart can be activated to help your child engage learning with curiosity and connection.

Here’s how:

• Word Smart – Let your child reflect through storytelling. Ask them to write about a time they felt proud at school or describe a class where they felt most alive. Discuss the difference between learning for a grade and learning for life.

• Logic Smart – Explore the "why" behind the content. Ask questions like, “Why does this matter?” or “What would happen if we didn’t know this?” Help them map cause and effect, or apply ideas to real-world problems.

• Picture Smart – Let them draw a scene from their school day, or even illustrate a concept like gravity or freedom. Visual processing unlocks depth and expression they might not verbalize.

• Music Smart – Encourage rhythm and lyric creation to memorize content or reflect on the day. Could they write a theme song for their school year?

• Body Smart – Act out a story. Build a model. Let them move while they learn. Use manipulatives for math or let them pace while memorizing.

• Nature Smart – Go outside and talk about what’s being learned. How does a tree relate to ecosystems? What does a sunset say about light? Connect science, beauty, and wonder.

• People Smart – Debrief school with connection. Let them explain ideas to siblings or grandparents. Learning deepens through dialogue.

• Self Smart – Give them space to journal or quietly reflect. Ask, “What part of your day did you enjoy most?” and “What are you hoping to get better at this year?”

Remember, you may not be able to control your child’s curriculum, but you can shape how your child connects with it. You can inspire joy. You can encourage awe. You can help them see that what they learn matters.

And when they believe that, they won’t just survive school.

They’ll influence the world.