Math has never been the subject I naturally ran toward, which is probably why I wanted to talk with Dr. Kathy about it. Some kids approach numbers as though someone flipped a switch inside them: they either believe they are good at math or they are not, and once that belief attaches to identity, every difficult assignment starts confirming the story. A recent conversation about struggling math students brought that tension into focus because the challenge is larger than test scores. When children repeatedly hear they are “below expectations,” it can become less about what they know today and more about what they believe they can become tomorrow. Dr. Kathy pointed out that one value of learning math is surprisingly simple: "I can do it.” Competence matters because solving something that once felt impossible shows children their minds can grow.

Dr. Kathy said one of the best reasons to delay a phone is that it gives children more opportunities to learn to put other people first and have real conversations. But she made a critical point: not giving a child a phone is not enough. The freed up time has to be used for something better. If a child doesn't have a smartphone but spends those same hours entertained or rarely engaging in deep interaction with others, we have removed a device without necessarily building the strengths we hoped would replace it.

The 8 Great Smarts give parents a useful lens for this because children rarely approach every opportunity the same way. Dr. Kathy encouraged parents to watch what kids naturally gravitate toward in their free time. A young Body Smart child may turn the living room into a gymnastics floor before anyone ever suggests lessons. A Music Smart child may repeatedly head toward the instruments in the church nursery or spend unusual amounts of time tapping rhythms or noticing melody. A Picture Smart child may constantly draw, build, arrange, design, or imagine. Those patterns are worth noticing because joy and energy often clue us into the smarts a child uses most comfortably.