Launching Well: Helping Kids Grow Toward Independence with Confidence
Graduation. Moving out. First jobs. First bills. Parents talk about “launching” their kids like it’s a one-time event, like throwing a javelin and hoping it sticks the landing.
But as Dr. Kathy and I explored today on the podcast, launching is more like a runway. And for many kids, especially those in foster care or without strong support systems, that runway is short and filled with emotional potholes.
A 2024 study in Tennessee revealed a heartbreaking truth: 70–80% of kids aging out of foster care between ages 18–20 experience homelessness or incarceration. That’s not just a statistic. That’s someone’s child. A life beginning with more barriers than bridges.
What Launching Really Means (and What It Doesn’t)
In our homes, launching often becomes a running joke: “Can’t wait until you turn 18 and buy your own groceries!”
But beneath that joke is a longing: We want our kids to thrive outside our home. We want them to be capable and connected. And most of all, we want them to know: they’re not alone.
Dr. Kathy put it plainly:
“We educate so they can live life. Not so they can just keep learning.”
That means we aren’t just giving our kids knowledge, we’re giving them wisdom, character, and a relationship with Jesus that carries them into adulthood.
Why Some Kids Struggle to Launch
Even kids raised in stable homes can feel stuck or lost when it’s time to step out. Why? Because success isn’t built on age. It’s built on identity. On confidence. On character.
What are the biggest factors that shape a kid’s ability to launch? We identity them as:
Knowing who they are (and who they’re not).
Being given responsibility over time.
Learning from failure in a safe place.
Feeling seen, supported, and believed in.
Building a runway of faith, not just safety nets.
When kids lack that? They may have diplomas, jobs, friends, and cars, but still feel directionless and insecure, especially if the ground shakes.
From Tricycles to Trust
Dr. Kathy shared a powerful metaphor today: teaching kids to ride a bike.
We start with plastic tricycles. Then training wheels. Then we run alongside. Eventually, we let go, but we watch, and we stay close. Launching isn’t a shove. It’s a process.
And it mirrors how Jesus trained His disciples. He didn’t give them everything at once. He built their confidence over time, giving them instructions, then stepping back while staying connected. “Take nothing for the journey,” Jesus told them. Because they already had everything they needed, in Him.
How Do We Help Kids Launch Well?
How do we guide kids to launch? By giving kids the right kind of support, not to make them more dependent, but to help them grow more confident in who they are and whose they are. That starts with a deep sense of security in Christ. If our kids know they’re loved, seen, and guided by the God who created them, they won’t need us to be the training wheels forever.
They’ll know how to trust the One who never leaves them, even when life gets wobbly.
So whether your child is 8, 18, or somewhere in between, keep pointing them to their foundation in Christ. Teach them who they are. Celebrate their strengths. Build their runway, one mile at a time.
8 Great Smarts: Engaging Kids to Build Confidence Before Launch
Use Dr. Kathy’s 8 Great Smarts to guide conversations and build skills that foster healthy independence.
Word Smart - Encourage your child to journal about their hopes for the future or write a list of dreams for adulthood. Ask, “What do you want your ‘grown up’ life to say about you?”
Logic Smart - Talk through budgets, bills, and life decisions. Let them help solve real-life problems around the house or plan a meal with a grocery budget.
Picture Smart - Create a vision board of what life could look like after high school. Let them illustrate goals they’re passionate about.
Music Smart - Listen to songs about growing up, identity, and launching. Ask how the lyrics reflect how they’re feeling about the future.
Body Smart - Do hands on tasks that mirror adult life: cooking, fixing things, or practicing driving. Celebrate small wins in real-life skills.
Nature Smart - Take a walk and talk about seasons. Use nature to explore the idea that growth takes time, but every season matters, even waiting seasons.
People Smart - Help them identify mentors. Role-play conversations they might have in new places (college, jobs, dorms). Teach them how to build a healthy community.
Self Smart - Create space for quiet reflection. Ask, “What kind of adult do you want to be?” Help them notice patterns in their decisions, habits, and thoughts.
Remember: The goal of launching isn’t getting our kids out of the house. It’s helping them step into the life they were made for, with Christ as their guide. Let’s raise kids who know who they are, who they belong to, and where they’re going. Because the runway matters. And the launch? That’s just the beginning.